Where will you be in twenty years? Celebrating the twentieth anniversary of reading this question... unless you're older than 60, which by modern life expectancy, you'd be dead.

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Why did the little girlbnot wake up? Because her mother smothered her in her sleep.

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how do yopu punish helen keller? Ground her, just like you would with any other child.

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What do you do if you see a Mexican riding a bike? Say "Hello." It is polite.

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why are chickens dying so fast? because black people are hungry.

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I've got a tip for the ladies. Or if you like I can put the whole thing

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roses are grey violets are grey im a dog

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did Michael Jackson touch children ? yes of course. otherwise he would have been an absolutely terrible father

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why do you park in the driveway and drive on the park way

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What did one dog say to the other dog? Bark.

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what do you call a gay guy? kevin

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What starts with P and ends with "oop" POOP

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How do you kill a pirate? Throw him of a bridge

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What did one dog say to the other? Nothing silly...dogs can't talk.

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Before her maiden voyage, they told the Titanic she could become anything. So she became a submarine.

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whats the difference between a boyscout and a jew? boyscouts come home from camp

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What did Reed read? A. Read?

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One night a man layed on his bed and looked into the skies, then he realizes: WHERE THE HELL IS MY CEILING!?!?!

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pooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooop

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Why was it raining lobsters? Because they ran out of men. Why did the basketball player miss the net? Because he was hit by a lobster

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Knock-Knock Who's there? A giant spider-like insect that lays eggs in your brain which turn into larvae that drop down onto your tongue and eat your teeth slowly, then form a cocoon and turn into the spider-like insect spoken of previously. You then wake up from this terrible nightmare and get ready for your well paying job.

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nicky finds it really hard to get it up.

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Whats the difference between a soccer ball and a baby? Babies cry when I kick them.

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How many unicorns does it take to change a lightbulb? Unicorns do not use lightbulbs, their technology (magic) is way too advanced to waste fossil fuels and pollute the air. Also, you can't change a lightbulb with hooves. ;)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops