How do you make an egg laugh? You can't. Eggs are inanimate objects which are incapable of emotion, thus laughter.

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How do you make a fake baby cry -Put batteries in it. How do you make a real baby cry? -Put batteries in it.

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what is white on top and black on the bottom? society... ha ha

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What's big, black, and girls love to ride on? A horse

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Where do you8 find a dog with no legs? right where you left it

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Why did the black man go to Jail? He was visiting his friend!

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Why did Suzy fall off the swing? She didn't. Despite losing her arms in a terrible accident as a child, Suzy persevered to become a renowned gymnast. After several turns as a champion Special Olympian, Suzy retired from sports in order to tour elementary schools as a guest speaker. She inspired thousands of disabled children across North America and was a highly-respected orator. Suzy sadly passed away in 2009 at the age of 62. She is survived by her two lovely daughters, Karen and Michelle.

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Why was Hellen Keller afraid to answer the phone? This situation is impossible because Hellen suffered from scarlet fever, therefore she could not see or hear the phone.

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My neighour knocked on my door at 2.30am last night, can u believe it? 2.30am? How rude I thought. Luckily I was still up, playing drums.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Actually, violets are violet

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What do you do when a bomb is exploding 2 inches away from you? You die.

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Two cows are sitting in a bathtub. One cow says please pass the soap. The other cow says nothing, cause it's a cow, making it incapable if speech. The other cow was just a guy in a cow costume.

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What do you call a mexican who steals toasters? A mexican toaster thief.

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I'm going to rewrite history. History.

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A elephant drowns when it was swimming, why did this happen? Who cares its already dead!

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My name is Will I am a real homosexual

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Suicide Johnny and the Go Kill Yourselves

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What's brown an sticky Shit

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A man walks into a bar He drinks the night away with his friends *Plot Twist* It was a dream He has no friends.

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Your momma's so old she might die soon.

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What has 4 legs in the morning, 2 legs at noon, and 3 legs in the afternoon? A dog that got its hind legs chopped off, and then only got 1 prosthetic one.

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how do you confuse a brunette? paint yourself red and throw a fridge at her

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Why cant Helen Keller driver? She's a woman

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How do spell____? awk moment when u try asking someone how to spell something over text but they have no idea what ur saying

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops