Q. What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a trampoline? A. I don't were cleats when I jump on my trampoline.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did Kermit the frog say at Jim Henson's funeral? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

In a galaxy far, far, away.... There were quasars, stars, and various sized meteors.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your pear.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What happens to a fish with no fin on the right side? It repeatedly swims in a circle.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did the penguin say to the polar bear? Nothing, penguins haven't evolved a complex form of language.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What happens when u mix water and soda? You get watery soda

thumb_up thumb_down -2

whats worse than finding a worm in your apple ? Joseph Fritzl.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do your friends have in common with a tree? They both fall down when you hit them multiple time with an axe

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Roses are red Violets are blue I like your mom Give me some glue

thumb_up thumb_down -2

"Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "Knock Knock Knock" "Knock knock Knock who?" "Just let me in, you twat, it's freezing out here!"

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What colour is chocolate? Brown.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

"Knock knock" "Who's there?" "GESTAPO! AUFMACHEN!!!"

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A man walks into a bar…. he then looks around checking to make sure no one saw this abashing action. He sees no one did then plashing a big smile on hst face he begins to strut forward only to trip over an empty can of spray cheese. it is important to note that this spray cheese was low fat

thumb_up thumb_down -4

your momma so stupid she dropped out of high school

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Q; What feels like plastic and tastes fake? A: School Food

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How can you tell the difference between a black guy and a white guy? skin color

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How do you poop without it splashing? clench clench, release, clench clench, release, clench, release, clench, release.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How many licks does it take to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop? As many as it takes.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Friend: Hey dude, you wanna come to my house after school and do some Meth? Other Friend: Nah I dont wanna get scabs all over my skin, disgusting teeth, and im not in the mood for dying early. Im good here.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

The Yak, a long-coated bovine found in the Himalayas, is named for its distinct call, which sounds similar to "yak-yak-yakyak".

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A batch of muffins is baking in an oven. One muffin says to another... Oh sorry, scratch that, they can't talk; they're f***ing muffins. (CSC)

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops