if you fall, I'll be there. -floor

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Why did the boat sink I shot a missile at it

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Who's the fastest kid in AA

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So an African American man and another man of Hispanic, more specifically Mexico, are riding in the backseat of a car, who's driving? Probably their private chauffeurs, but most definitely not someone related to the Police Department.

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What happens if you drop a baby of a cliff It dies

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A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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Random link time! http://www.booksie.com/thrillers/novel/declan_mckimm/pure-evil

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You always hear of the 9/11 stories where people who work in the World Trade Centers were late that day or home sick or whatever. My mom also worked there. It was a normal morning, got up to make us breakfast, got us to school on time, the whole bit. After having to do all that stuff, she actually got to work on time, and she died in the attack.

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Why was the boy's face red? He put his cat in a blender.

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Why did the vegetarian eat a steak? Because he was not a vegetarian

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Your mom is so nerdy that she probably went to college, got her degree, then found a very successful job in a field that she finds interesting.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Bend Over.

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I like my women how I like my coffee; without a penis.

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What do you call a man floating in a pool with his arms chopped off? A murder victim.

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Q. What did the pedophile get when he went to jail? A. Exactly what he wanted.

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Why did the baby stop laughing? Would you if you pooped your pants?

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knock knock who's there? the man the man who? the man who murdered your whole family

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Your landlord your being evicted we need you out in 2 weeks.

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A: When was rhe last time you touched yourself? B: A few seconds ago when I had an itch on my arm

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What happens when you get hit in the face? You get hurt.

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You know what's addicting? Heroine.

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What do you call a lesbian with a penis? Justin Bieber.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? because she's a woman

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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