A man goes to the doctor and complains: "Doctor, my Viagra hasn't worn off! It's been over eight hours!" The doctor replies "You were bitten by a banana spider. You have one day to live.

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How do you make a plumber sad? You kill his family.

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why was the pen mad at the pencil? it wasnt. objects don't have feelings

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What do accountants do when they're constipated? Take a laxative and eat plenty of fiber.

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What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A tragedy almost unparalleled in marine history.

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Did you hear about the young couple that confused K-Y jelly with window caulking? All their windows fell out.

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How do you get the icing in the middle of a cupcake? Cupcake raper...Duh

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I took your mother out for a classy steak dinner. I decided not to call her agian because we weren't very compatible and the conversation was very superficial.

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Teacher: Why didn't you do your homework? Student: My friends told me not to. Teacher: So if your friends tell you to go jump off a bridge, would you do it? Student: Well, it all depends on if I land on a fat kid. Like Chubb. Chubb: Yeah, I know, my eating habit, i-i-its a big problem. -Payden R.

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roses are red violets are blue kyle brown and pj nosaki have big balls

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What's the difference between Elmo and Cookie Monster? One of them doesn't listen to Michelle Obama

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Why didn't the chicken not get across the road? Cause it's head got shot off by some drunk asshole

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A man walked into a bar and said "Ouch".

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Yo mama so fat, she suffered a heart attack last week and we are all deeply concerned.

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What did the dog say to his owner? Bark.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, This poem is getting old, I like cookies.

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Who won in a game of Brawl... Holden

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What did one butthole say to the other butthole? I'm actually not sure. I wasn't there when he said it.

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Why was billy bad at telling jokes? Billy was sexually abused as a child and humour was never really part of his life

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A guy has spikey things in his butt, what happened?............... He fell on a cactus.

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Who's mean and white and really not nice? Hitler

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Why doesn't Susie have a bike? She has no arms. Who pushed Johnny off a cliff? Definitely not Susie.

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Why was the gay man gay? Because he likes touching other guys penises

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Why did the chair break? The person that sat in it was over weight

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops