How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Shit on her face

Q.Whats the difference between a black guy and a bench? A.One is a human and the other is an inanimate object used to give people a rest.

What do you call 10 black people swimming down a current? A happy family

Why doesn't Michael Jackson play with my brother anymore? Because he's dead.

a horse walks into the bar. the bartender asks why the long face.

Knock knock. After 1 and a half minutes of waiting, Phil assumes his friend is not home, and promptly leaves.

How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten tickles

what do you call a bomb in a plane? A dangerous threat to lives

What starts with P and ends with "oop" POOP

What did the orphan get for Christmas? Cancer.

What's the difference between a Jew and a Paki? Nothing, they're both as bad as each other.

What did the toy cowboy say to the man? Nothing, toys can't talk.

binladin walks into the american seals

How do you kill a pirate? Throw him of a bridge

A man wanted to kill himself.. He did.

What's more disturbing than finding an apple in your worm? The fact that you're eating a worm.

Why do dead babies go to funerals? They don't.

How many dogs does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None. Dogs don't have thumbs.

whats the best thing about life? whatever the best thing about life happens to be!

Why is Joe is ugly? I dont Know

What would George Washington say if he were alive today? WHAT THE **** IS WRONG WITH THIS COUNTRY!

What's black and white and red all over? A skunk in a blender.

a blind person walks into a deaf person and the deaf person says "dadadader"

how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop 397, IF you have a big tounge

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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