What do you call somebody who votes for Donald Trump? A voter. What do you call somebody who votes for Hillary Clinton? A voter.

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whats up and also down? your mum

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Do not be unreasonable now, as for the twenty five million dollars, it is the least I can do, but if we cannot agree upon acting with some reason and dignity, as refraining from insults, then no conflict will ever be solved... ...I will send you my contact information shortly, expect the money within the week, three or four days tops.

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Will nearis is here! Get it

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A Terrorist walks into an airport. - He then blows himself up.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? i don't know, he hasn't unwrapped it yet

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How do you save stop your soulmate from dying of cancer? Shoot them on the head.

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What did the lactose intolerant boy say when he accidentally drank some milk? Nothing, he went into anaphylactic shock and couldn't breathe.

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Q: what do you call a much green circle that tastes good? A: An avocado

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What's better than eating an orange? Anal sex with Kim Kardashian.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a bomb that explodes in 3 seconds inside your apple.

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There are 2 muffins in an oven One of the muffins says to the other 'Jeez it's hot in here' Then the other muffin replied, 'OH MY GOD IT'S A FRICKEN TALKING MUFFIN!!!!!!!!

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So you're floating down a river on a two story canoe. How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? Four because snakes don't have legs.

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What did the homeless guy get for Christmas ? Frostbite

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Why did Jimy fell down the stairs, because he was adopted.

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Stop Iran! We need the money.

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? Because the light was green.

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Chuck Norris doesn't just have a chin underneath his beard. He also has part of his neck underneath his beard.

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Q: Did you hear about the blonde who shot an arrow into the air? A: She missed.

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What do you say to a woman with two black eyes? Nothing, you've already taken her police statement and she doesn't want to discuss the incidentit anymore until her lawyer arrives.

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What's black, white, and red all over? A: Me after domestic abuse.

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Q:What do you call an insecure person A:Somebody who is likely to commit suicide

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what's white and bumpy? Milk. But it's not bumpy.

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Q: How do you make a baby cry? A: Throw a brick at it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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