Why was the boy crying? His mother has terminal cancer, and his father does not have the financial stability to cover the cost of the surgery and keep up on house payments and buying clothes and food for the children. He will be living in a foster home in a matter of a week.

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How did the little boy get out of the forest? -He didnt, he was devoured by a pack of wovles.

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A redhead walks into a bar and goes to the restroom. She needed to pee.

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when placing the bolt in the side of the metal rememb............ shit wrong book ........................................................................

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What is your name, sir? My name is not Sir, my name is Jeff.

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What's worse than public speaking? Public masterbation. *Spelled it wrong purposly to bypass the filter*

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A bar walking into a mans house, then the blonde says stupid words like why did the chicken of the sea cross the road and pigeons go moo moo like a cow.

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A woman was shopping at her local supermarket where she selected: a half-gallon of 2% milk, a carton of eggs, a quart of orange juice, a head of romaine lettuce, a 2 lb. can of coffee and a 1 lb. package of bacon. As she was unloading her items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk standing behind her watched as she placed the items in front of the cashier. While the cashier was ringing up her purchases, the drunk calmly stated, “You must be single.” The woman was a bit startled by this proclamation, but she was intrigued by the derelict’s intuition, since she was indeed single. She looked at her six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about her selections that could have tipped off the drunk to her marital status. Curiosity getting the better of her, she said “Well, you know what, you’re absolutely correct. But how on earth did you know that?” The drunk replied, “Cause you’re ugly.”

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Q: How do you make sweet sexy love to cow and make her come several times and then have her lick your stick clean without nobody ever finding out? While secretly keeping her as your girlfriend forever? A: Wouldn't you like to know...

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A Muslim, a Buddhist, and a Christian are on a plain. They have to jump off for some reason. The Muslim straps a bomb to his chest, jumps out of the plain, and screams "AHLA AKBAH"!!!! The Buddhist jumps out and says save me heavenly Buddha. A giant golden hand catches him and lightly places him on land. The Christian says "aw hell with this" and jumps out, then says "save me heavenly Buddha". The giant golden hand places him down gently on land. The Christian then says "thank god". The giant golden hand comes back down and kills him.

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What do you get when you cross a dog with a cat? Nothing, it is impossible to mix 2 different animals

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What's brown and rhymes with snoop ? Dr Dre.

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Two girls were taken away mysteriously in the night. The next day, no one cared because they were orphans.

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why didnt the whiteperson sit down at obama's election? because he had hemorrhoids

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Knock, Knock... Whose there? panther panther who? panth-er no panths im goin' swimmin'

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What did the boy eat for dinner? Shit.

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A man walks into an insane asylum and says hello-The inmates assault him with mindless babble. A man walks into an insane asylum and says argblthenthrozaphowea-The inmates say hello.

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What's the difference between a box of dead babies and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have a gun Get in the van

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you were observing it, thus changing its quantum state and making it decide to cross.

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An apple a day keeps the doctor away. Unless he's a witch doctor, then you'll need an apple and some ayaheusca. The fractal dream will destroy time and space as consciousness returns upon itself at times end

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Knock knock. Who's there? Jim. Oh, come in Jim!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Certainly not to have its motives questioned!

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How many infants does it take to paint a house? Forty-Seven.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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