A cat walks into a bar. She belongs to the owner, so he gives her a saucer of milk.

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Your father must be an alien because he's driving a UFO

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"Hey have you seen Stevie wonders car. Neither has he.

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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What did the black basketball player say to the white basketball player when he lost? Good game.

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what`s green and flys a plain i was kidding about the green

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What is blue and invisible? Invisible blue paint

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the stock market crashed 600 points today, and his retirement account took a hit. He can't afford his car anymore.

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Why don't meth addicts like food? Because they have not teeth to chew it with.

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What did the smiley face say to the other smiley face? Nothing. They just smiled.

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That awkward moment when a sentence doesn't end the way you think it octopus.

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What do you call a book of notes? A notebook.

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A Chinese man, a Mexican man, and an American man are all on a plane in-flight when the pilot screams over the intercom, "We are two pounds over weight! The plane is going down unless you all throw off useless things that have no value in your countries!" The Chinese man throws out a pair of chopsticks and an egg roll and says, "I have too many of those in my country." The Mexican does the same with a taco and sombrero, repeating, "I have too many of those in my country." The American looks around his items pondering what things are too common in the USA. He locks his eyes on the Mexican. The other passengers are shocked as the American throws off a hamburger and a football.

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What do you call a cat that growls? A cat

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Yo Mama is so stupid, she believes in God. While her faith has absolutely nothing to do with her intelligence and in 2014 only the most bigoted and stupid people would demean people based on their religion,she does have an IQ of 65 and is therefore believed to be mentally inadequate. It's really quite sad.

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What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early warning sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak and will soon have her institutionalized.

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What's the same between a white guy and a black guy? They are both white except for the black guy.

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What did the man say when he was stabbed on the street? Nothing, because he died.

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Did you hear the one about Steven Hawking into a bar? I havn't either, but its probably a hoot.

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Two muffins are baking in an oven. One of them says, "Man, it sure is hot in here." and the other muffin replies, "Yep." They later die a horrid and painful death as their flesh gets burned into a nice golden brown crisp.

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What did the you know what screw this I'm sick of making these stupid jokes there all the same. Hang on hang on What did the pirate do to the dog yes This style of joking is so different I'm going to be a famous comedian oh wait there's a whole bloody website full of these. O look another one and another one and another one that knife over there looks really nice right now

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What did the kid with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Arms and legs, NOT GET IN MY MINIVAN!

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How do you judge a black person? By the content of their character.

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Girl:Do you wanna hear a joke? Boy:Sure... Girl: jesus loves you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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