What did Helen Keller get for Christmas? How would she know? shes blind, deaf and mute; and incapable of knowing what she received.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

When life throws lemons at you, just give up and commit suicide!

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Did you hear about the Polish couple taking selfies while on vacation in Portugal? They fell off a cliff and died in front of their children. True story.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A chicken crosses the road... Gets fined for jaywalking.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's big, hard, in the water, and isolated? Shutter Island

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How do you make a napkin dance? You can't. Stop having such unrealistic aspirations.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Your Mom is so fat, that she went to the doctor's and they told her that she was overweight and needed to get a stomach staple in order to make her lose weight

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do you call a fly without wings? A walk

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Knock knock. Who's there? It's the government, your home is being repossessed.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How many fingers am i holding up? none, my hand got blown off in Vietnam

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Q: How do mentally retarted people read books A: They dont

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why are stand up comedians called stand up comedians? Because they are standing up while telling jokes, dumby.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

An Englishman, an American and a Frenchman are standing on the side of a cliff. The Englishman jumps off the cliff. The American also jumps off the cliff. He is followed by the Frenchman. Suicide and depression are major problems in today's world regardless of nationality.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

why did the Mexican take $20, because he found it on the ground

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's the last thing to go through a flys head when it hits your windshield? Its ass.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did the black police officer say to the white police officer? We just got a call in. Four dead children were found in an alley behind a mall.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early warning sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak and will soon have her institutionalized.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Ps. I am getting green thumbs, which is weird, I never even expected for anyone to even bother to read my fucking long comments,but then again... As my wife said, " I am not pissed at the fact that members of my movement dont depend too much of my advice in order to get along in life for nothing". True, while horsehead network might mock me, and my "blood family hate and/or fear me" It takes only a look into my wife`s eyes to feel like a God... All while I got many thousand members of Neronism worldwide waiting for me to cope with my past so they can worship me (which pisses me off, it was never my intention, I give them life advice on how to shape their own life, not on how to cling to me). Nero: Neronism, look it up, join me, stop looking for the answers in religion, but stand up for yourself and realize that there is no reason to wait for life after death, when we together, can create heaven on earth. Yes esteemed members, I am back on my feet, and I am wearing my ortopedic arm made of steel again, consider it symbolism. Its free btw, your money is worthless to me, if you choose to see life for what it is in the eyes of a true human being, then you on the other hand, are worth as much as I am... What I am worth is something I will leave up to your opinion, because sure as fuck if I dont consider myself better than people most already. Its time to push forward again, led by a fist of steel.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

what's the difference between a blue fridge falling off a cliff and a yellow one? the yellow one isn't falling of a cliff.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

why does everyone like this website? ... because every other joke a little baby is dying.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A clown walks into a bar and orders a pie. After about 2 minutes, the bartender gives him a pie. Later, a blonde walks into a bar and orders a cake. After about 1 minute, the bartender gives her a cake. Then a dog walks into a bar. It doesn't order anything because it's a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

rose's are red violets are blue bernard is mine and yours too if you hurt him in any way i'll punch you in your face and make you gay Krissc

thumb_up thumb_down -2

what do you do when you see the klu klucks klan ? act white

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops