Q: What's the hardest part about eating a vegetable? A: The wheel chair.

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Two guys are walking on a bridge. One has long hair. The other does not care.

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Chuck Norris shaves with his fists. That's why he still has a beard.

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Want to hear a joke? ...you're straight.

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it was all Tagart

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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Why was the black man unemployed and in debt? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his opportunities from a young age.

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what is orange and sounds like a parrot a carrot

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What did the homeless man get for his 34th birthday? 34 years of regret.

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How do you get a one armed Polish man out of a tree? With a ladder, he needs help.

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What did the kid with no arms and legs get for his birthday? A bicycle.

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Friends are like trees. They fall when hit multiple times with an axe.

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Why did the redneck leave his wife? To marry his daughter.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It is hard to know things like that.

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What do you call a dear with no eyes? A no-idear

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Why did the cow cross the road? -Because it lives in India and is allowed to.

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How do you prevent a drowning..? A: You don't throw the black man in the portwater

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Your mom is so fat that her doctor told her to go on a diet.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.. Why did the 2nd monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first moneky.. Why did the 3rd monkey fall out of the tree? It thought it was a game.. Why did the 4th monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure..

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Why did the pig cross the ocean? So he could be eaten by Americans.

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Three couples went in to see the minister to see how to become members of his church. The minister said that they would have to go without sex for two weeks and then come back and tell him how it went. The first couple was retired, the second couple was middle-aged and the final couple was newlywed. Two weeks went by, and the couples returned to the minister. The retired couple said it was no problem at all. The middle-aged couple said it was tough for the first week, but after that, it was no problem. The newlyweds said it was fine until she dropped the can of paint. "Can of PAINT!" exclaimed the minister. "Yeah," said the newlywed man. "She dropped the can and when she bent over to pick it up I had to have her right there and then. Lust took over." The minister just shook his head and said that they were not welcome in the church. "That's okay," said the man. "We're not welcome in Home Depot either."

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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there is nothing better than waking up to realise that your being hugged by your partner unless that partner is not home

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Why couldn't little Susie ride her bicycle? She had Cerebral Palsy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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