I had 99 problems Solved them all

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A man walks in front of a bus. The bus driver avoids the man but hits the boy eating ice cream.

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What's white and sticky? Snow. What were you thinking of?

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mary poppins' handbag is full of dick

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What's worse than spending time with Inlaws? Spending time with outlaws.

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What's worse than being in the Holocaust? Dying in the Holocaust.

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why was six afraid of seven It wasnt. numbers are not sentient or tangible and thus are incapable of feeling fear

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When life gives you melons, your probably dyslexic.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.. Why did the 2nd monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first moneky.. Why did the 3rd monkey fall out of the tree? It thought it was a game.. Why did the 4th monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure..

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Why did the pig cross the ocean? So he could be eaten by Americans.

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Your mom is so fat that her doctor told her to go on a diet.

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What did the homeless man get for his 34th birthday? 34 years of regret.

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Why was the black man unemployed and in debt? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his opportunities from a young age.

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What did the kitty say when it's owner called him over? Nothing. It's owner killed him.

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what is orange and sounds like a parrot a carrot

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Why did the black man steal purple kool-aid, chicken and watermelon? Because it was the birthday of his 8 year old daughter with autism and she loves purple kool-aid, chicken and watermelon and he was very poor and wanted to make his little girl happy for once.

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How do you prevent a drowning..? A: You don't throw the black man in the portwater

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Chuck Norris shaves with his fists. That's why he still has a beard.

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Q: What's the hardest part about eating a vegetable? A: The wheel chair.

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If everyone in China jumped up and down at the same time they would lose all credibility as a nation for organising such a pointless excursion.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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it was all Tagart

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Friends are like trees. They fall when hit multiple times with an axe.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I have to go to the bathroom.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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