What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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A man name Bill works 12 hours a day at a warehouse, almost everyday a week. It is a hard job but Bill does it to support his beautiful wife of many years. Bill thinks the long hard days are worth every moment he gets to spend with her. One night, after a hard day, he comes home to find another man in bed with his wife. Bill begins to sob and yell "I work 12 hours a day at a warehouse....." His wife yells back. "We already read this part, get to the punchline".

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You mama's so fat, that the doctor suggested that she go on a diet.

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A police officer walks into a bar. He uses the ATM and withdraws 20 dollars. After greeting the bartender he leaves the establishment and proceeds to go on duty. The cop was really friendly.

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What did the blind man say when you asked hi his favorite color? Nothing he is death too

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What's the difference between a Toyota Camry and 20 dead babies? I don't have 20 dead babies in my garage.

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Q: IMAGINE that your in a heart racing battle with a huge grizzly bear when suddenly a bird picks you up and carries you to china and leaves you on the adge of a cliff which then you are chased by warriors and are forced to jump off the edge. What do you do? A: Wake up

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A man walks into a bar. He goes up to the Bar Tender and says, "Hit me with all you got!" The bar tender then ducks down under the bar out of sight. He comes back up with a sledge hammer and viciously murders the man. Blood spews everywhere and many others are brutally murdered shortly afterwards. :)

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Neglegence and irresponsibility of a farmer.

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What do you get when you cross rice flour,vegetable oil,corn oil,cottonseed oil,soybean oil,dried potatoes,corn flour,maltodextrin,wheat starch,modified rice starch,sugar and mono-and-di-glycerides,malted barley flour,wheat bran,dried black beans and salt? Pringles,Multi Grain,truly original

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Once there was a dog, another one came to it and then there were two.

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did you hear about the circus fire? it was tragic and hundreds of people were killed.

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What did the boy get from his grandmother on Christmas. Nothing she died on Thanksgiving.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Violets are actually purple or white

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In America you read books, but in Soviet Russia, it's exactly the same as it is in America, because it's not possible for books to read humans.

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what do you call a man who go his head cut off in a car accident? dead.

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Why did the father and his son drop their cola? Because a meteor hit and killed all life on Planet Earth.

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It's weird how two of the SAME jokes can get different ratings.

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What do you say to a woman with two black eyes? A: I'm sorry. I was raised in an abusive home and I never learned how to properly express my emotions. I'm going to seek professional counseling but in the meantime we should end our relationship for your safety.

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How many tortoises does it take to change a light bulb? One. Just don't expect it to be done quick.

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Why didn't Susie do her reading homework? She is blind and her school system cannot Afford to teach her to read braille

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guy walks into a bar, ouch

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Jesus Christ

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he needed to go home.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops