A seal walks into a club...and is taken in custody by animal control due to the club having a no animal policy.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

A little boy was walking down the street when a strange looking van stopped next to him and the man driving asked the little boy where he lived, where his mother was, and if he wanted a puppy because he had some in the back seat.... The boy proceeded to enter the van. The man then handed the child a puppy and promptly drove the boy home.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

If Hitler, Osama Bin Laden, and Charlie Sheen were in a room together and you had a gun with two bullets, who would you shoot? Well Hitler and Bin Laden are already dead, and Charlie probably wouldn't die. Plus, I honestly don't think I could bring myself to shoot someone.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Person 1: 'Ask me if I'm a tree' Person 2: 'Are you a tree?' Person 1: 'No.'

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Knock Knock Who's There? The I.R.S.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

GOODBYE

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What's endangered like the Spotted Owl? A Cancer patient.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Chuck Norris walks in to a bar then many people greet him because of his celebrity status.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

A black man, a jew and a muslim walk into a bar. ... I forgot what happens next, so let's just say they have a good time and get back home safely.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What do you call a large group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

http://cache.deadspin.com/assets/resources/2008/04/Deer_mating2.jpg

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why do jews love money so much? Because money is very valuable and everyone loves it.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What came in like a wrecking ball? A wrecking ball.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

boling water: why is it taking so long for you to get hard? egg: sorry, it's just because i recently got laid by a chick.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Q: What's pink and fuzzy? A: Pink Fuzz...

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What's the difference between a dead baby and my dinner??? Nothing...

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What's brown and smells like poo? Poo.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What's sadder than a lost puppy? A dead puppy.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why doesn't Julius Caesar answer his cell phone? Because he's DEAD.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

When it comes ro the zodiac my grandmother was a cancer and... She ws killed by... A giant crab

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didnt it got hit by a truck before it got to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Q: What did the air freshener say to the car??? A: Nothing. Air fresheners are inanimate objects

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What's worse than being eaten by a giant bear? Hitler.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

whats better than a girl getting hit by a car? a girl getting hit by a car with my dick in her

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops