But I don't use all those things myself Nero, I do however teach people how to use it.

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What's a pirate's favorite video game? Pirates lived in a time before such technology existed

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Q: Where was Moses when the lights went out. A: In the dark.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, there is no reason for a chicken to need to cross a road.

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So I'm blowing this guy and he starts rubbing his finger through my hair... So I started thinking, what a fag.

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Why was the black man kicked out of the restaurant? Blatant racism was still very prevalent at that time and place.

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Knock knock It's open, come in

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Why did little polly fall off her her roof? Because she saw a ice-cream van

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What's big or small, can come in different colors, and would kill you if it was forced inside you? A refrigerator.

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How many squirrels does it take to screw out a light bulb? None because squirrels lack the strength and mind set to screw out a light bulb.

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YOU MEAN SHE ACTUALLY EVER LIKED ME? WOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! Anyway, tell her to contact me here, during the number of letters up there divided by a certain number you got over there, minus the letters here subtracted with the VEEEEEEERY same ammoooouuuuunt... Moral: God I need to invent a code system that makes me sound less like Jim Carrey on crack...

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why did the car go to the bathroom? it had gas.

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Why did the guy fall into the ocean? He was surfing

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I've been reading these for the past hour and you guys are just out right terrible! -Sarah

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What's worse than finding gum on your shoe? Being molested by a sea urchin.

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Why did the wheel fall of the car?? Cause you can't fit 10 pancakes inside of a doghouse.

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Q. Why did the television set turn on? A. Because someone pressed the power button.

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If a quiz is quizzical, what's a testicle?

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eh

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Roses are red Violets are blue. most poems rhyme but this one doesn't!

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mary poppins' handbag is full of dick

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What did the cow say when he saw his family get murdered? Moo.

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MILLERS FUNNY LIKE A JEW

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Q. How does Michael Jackson pick his nose? A. From a catalogue.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops