-knock knock -i'm not at home, go away!

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? The Pterodactyl species became extinct 65 million years ago, and thus if you saw one today, you would be immediately taken into a mental hospital.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

How do you turn a dishwasher into a snowblower? Give her a shovel

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are polemicists.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Your mother is so fat that I suggest she should pay a visit to the nutritionist so they can work out a dieting plan together to prevent weight-related heart problems in the near future.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why couldnt Helen Keller drive? Because She was Blind you sexist asshole

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the chick cross the road? Because she's a gold digger homie, dat chick is greedy like a mofo. She be all up in your grill and sheit tryin' getchu to spend your money lik dat homie ditch dat hoe, she aint even worth it brotha.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why was the Chinese man so sad? He's Asian.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why do women love Panera Bread? They think it's healthy.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why were the teacher's eyes crossed? She got kicked in the face by a mule.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

These are some questions you should never ask on a first date: When you wipe do you throw your toilet tissue in the toilet or on a trash can? Do you smell your hands after you wipe? Do you you ever look down when you take a dump and see it come out? Have you ever picked your butt and then picked your nose with the same finger?

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Once a upon of time, cow said chicken go cluck. Years later, mustard was like a ketchup. I said it was good. Oh yea baby. It was a good day.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's funny? Nick Sotelo

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did the genie say to the man that rubbed the magic lamp? Nothing, genies don't exist.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the man walk up to a bank teller with a gun? He is the security guard; he wanted to ask her for financial advice.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

I knew a little girl once. She was ate before she was seven.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A man walks into a doctor's office and says "Doctor, it hurts when I poke my leg like this!" The doctor replies "That because there's a knife in your hand."

thumb_up thumb_down -9

how much did the asian man pay for his operation? nothing. he's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's the difference between a boodle and a scoodle? Ladoodle!

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did the transvestite say to the hypochondriac? "Ever been to Toledo?"

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's worse then running out of toilet paper? Getting shot

thumb_up thumb_down -9

what Did The Cow Say To The Chicken, Moo

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Jake pulled out a gun and held it to his head, planning to fool his friends because he knew the gun was empty. Then his friend thought he was helping out his suicidal friend by stabbing him.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops