No Nero, you see, a great man once told me that happiness is not something you look for and eventually find, but something that you decide that you already are.

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Why wasn't the woman happy when she gave birth? Because she was thrown into a pool of semen 9 months ago.

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What do you do when your archenemy walks up to you? Kill them due to their vulnerability, I mean they walked up to you...

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What do you call a cow with no legs. Dead, the farmer cut them off.

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Why did the donkey say "Shit sorry I had no idea" Because the batteries shouted: "Nobody told me about your actions here, sorry for the terrible coding format, I am new"

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And riiight after you... Hey its always ladies first.

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your mom is so stupid she got raped

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What does a black man love more than anything? His family you racist c u n t.

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Yo momma's so hairy when you were born you almost died from rug burn.

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Girl 1- why was 6 afraid of 7? dog- ..................................(doesn't say anything because dogs can't ruff)

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A. Did you hear about the circus fires? b. They were intense. (in tents)

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How do you get a nun pregnant? Artificial insemination.

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Why did Ian pass his CRB check? Because he committed his crimes on holiday

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Why cant Joe drive his tractor? Because he doesn't have any arms or legs. Why doesn't Joe have any arms or legs? BECAUSE JOE IS A POTATO.

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How dis the chicken cross the road? On it's chicken wings.

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Q: Why wasn't the baby playing with his blocks? A: Because his face was stapled to the floor

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Why can't Stevie Wonder read? He has retinopathy of prematurity and was born blind.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. You honstly thought i would cry over you? Well guess what player, You just got played too!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer was sexually abusive.

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What did the little girl with no arms or legs get for christmas? Nothing, she was Jewish.

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What's purple, smells like an eggplant, and looks like an eggplant? An eggplant.

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hashtags suck balls

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how many members of the australian greens party does it take to write legislation? none, it's already been done for them by Karl Marx

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Q: What do yoiuo call an Italian butler? A: Vinny

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops