Roses are red Violets are... The poem was never finished due to the fact that the reader had narcolepsy and promptly fell asleep.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Q. What's cold and has no feelings? A. A pole

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Your mom is so fat she weighs significantly higher then most females of her age and height.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A man says to another man, "Why the long face?" He then replies, "I have an elongated face, hands, and feet due to acromegaly."

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did the mathematician go to jail? Because he killed his wife.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What do you do to Jewish people? You Challah at them.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Roses r Red Violets r Blue I'm schizophrenic So am i too!

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Knock knock! Just kidding.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A) why did the black guy leave the bar B) cause he was tired and wanted to go home

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Roses are grey Violets are grey I'm a dog

thumb_up thumb_down -17

If Michelle rides her bike at 15 mph for 20 minutes and Erik rides his bike at 20 mph for 12 minutes, why is Michelle not in the kitchen?

thumb_up thumb_down -17

I road a horse to school. My friend stabbed it with a Javelin and screamed.... The horse was his Dad

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A polar bear and a seal are sitting on an ice floe. The polar bear looks at the seal and says, "RAWRRRRRRRRRGGG" and then kills and eats him. A horse walks into a bar Barman says "Why the long face?" The horse replies "My mum died this morning".

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What is the black kid down the street getting for his birthday? Well first of all, his name is Pat. And he asked his parents for an Xbox that he will likely receive, and I assume a variety of other gifts from friends and family.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What do you get when you cross an Indian and a duck? An Indian duck.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

The other day a man came to my door. After I opened it, he told me, "I'm sorry, your mother is dead." He paused, then said, "Just kidding." "Actually," I told him, "my mom died two years ago of natural causes." He turned around and left, and I closed the door. All in all, it was a very confusing situation, and I'm not sure how I feel about it.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did the goose cross the road? Because the chicken was on vacation

thumb_up thumb_down -17

your mammas so fat tha-- my mother is dead. oh... sorry.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

How many ADD kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Let's ride bikes!!

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Josh Moran peels off his foreskin while watching gay porn.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did Lucy fall off the swing? She had no arms and legs Knock knock Who's there? Not Lucy

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Waiter, there is a hydrogen conducting carbon nanotube in my soup. That is part of the special, sir.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops