What happened when the dinosaur walked into a lake? It got wet

Mommy, why did daddy leave? Because you touch yourself at night sweetie.

What did John name his dog? Doggy

Your mommas so dumb she had to climb a glass wall to see what was on the other side! But the glass was slippy so she never saw what was on the other side.

What's black and blue and hates sex? The ten year old in my trunk

Why the moron throw the clock out the window? Because he was a moron.

What do you call a black person who flies a plane? A pilot!

When is a door not a door? When it's a pair of titties!

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse does not reply as it is a horse and horses cannot speak. The bartender realises his stupid mistake and calls the farm the horse came from. The horse is taken back to the farm and fed some hay. The bartender carries on living his life and then dies of natural causes at a very old age.

What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neil Armstrong walked on the moon and Michael Jackson appeared in court several times under charges of child molestation

What do you do when your baby won't stop crying. Slit its throat

Why did the kid get on the bus. Because he had to go home

Why did Emily fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Emily.

Jack was nimble, Jack was quick, Jack sat on his candle, and burnt his ass.

What's green, little, and eats rocks? A Little Green Rock-Eater What's green and has a thousand wheels? A lawn, I lied about the wheels! If I were to throw a rock down the a whole in the center of the earth (straight through) what would happen? The Little Green Rock-Eater would eat it!

knock knock Who's there? Me Me who? Me Doa Kong Oh, Hi! Come on in.

What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into a worm and finding an apple

Hickory Dickory Dock, Three mice ran up the clock, the clock struck 1, and the other 2 escaped with minor injuries

Whats a dogs favorite thing to eat? Food.

What did the black kid get for Christmas? Your bike.

A man walks into a bar with a chicken on his head the bartender asks the man why do you have a chicken on your head the man replies the chicken is thirsty

Knock Knock! Who's there? The police, your father just died in a boat accident.

A kid walks into a bar, everyone fled the bar because they were all afraid of goats

wanna hear a joke? womans rights

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...