Why did an asian lawyer commit suicide? Because his wife left him and he hated his miserable life.

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Why did the black man cross the road? To get to the other ____?

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A man is taking a shower in jail where he drops the soap. He proceeds to pick the soap up and cleans the rest of his body, puts his orange jumpsuit on and returns to his cell.

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why did suzy drop her ice cream? she got hit by a bus. knock knock. whos there? not suzy.

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What did the girl say to the guy who poked her on Facebook? You poked me.

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Well, first of all, what I have overcome both mentally (trauma) and physically (lots of shit) is in the past, lets leave it there. Second yeah, I can basically shift my sense of left and right at will, meaning I can choose which arm to write with, and write things mirrored without even thinking about it, I can fool my senses basically, one second I struggle playing the piano because I have just trained with one, then I make my brain believe I have been practicing with both, its simple, but complicated to explain, while my ears are perfectly normal, I got two sets of balance nerves, it just gets more complicated from there.

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There once was a man from Duluth who's never did rhyme. They were often too short.

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What is white, black, and red all over? A: A zebra being slaughtered.

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How many pianos does it take to change a lightbulb? Two. One to change the lightbulb, and one to play a motivational tune.

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Karen was an average high-schooler. When she got home she often went online to chat with strangers. One day she started chatting with a nice girl named Jami. They really got along, Karen could tell Jami all of her secrets. One day, Karen decided to met her new friend at a local park without telling her parents. When she arrived she discovered the gruesome truth about Jami. Jami wasn't in high-school. She was a ten-foot tall, vicious, velociraptor.

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A Hideo Kojima AntiJoke Typed by Hideo Kojima. Idea By Hideo Kojima. Concept By Hideo Kojima Spacing by Hideo Kojima Controlled for typos by Hideo Kojima Overseen By Hideo Kojima Aproved By Hideo Kojima. Reconsidered By Hideo Kojima Accepted by Hideo Kojima What took you so long?

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A guy walked into a restaurant. He sat down and had a lovely meal left the restaurant got in his car and went home. The End

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What's worse then having gum stuck on the bottom of your shoe? Having a stick poked in your eye. What's worse then having a stick poked in your eye? Having a nail go through your foot. What's worse then having a nail go through your foot? Having a stick poked in your eye and a nail going through your foot.

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What do you think 3 black men want when the come and knock on your car window? They just want directions.

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Bob: This joke is so hilarious but you must start off by saying knock knock. Tom: okay... Knock knock Bob: who's there? Tom: ...... Bob: well? Tom: I don't know what to say??? Bob: so the joke left ya speechless!

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What has equally bad consequences as breaking someone's leg in front of the local authorities? Breaking your own leg on purpose in front of the local authorities.

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Your momma is so fat, her doctor recommended exercising more and eating healthier.

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I like my women like I like my coffee.......... I don't like coffee

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your mother is so fat that I am concerned that her health is at stake and she may develop diabetes and heart disease

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whats worse than the holocaust? nothing

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What happens to an elephant when it rains? It gets wet.

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What happened when Tim's house caught on fire? The fire department was contacted and they put the fire out.

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Yeah, I know too, its as if "Omg he has not replied in 5 seconds something must be wrong", sorry about that. Not endorphin person? That cannot be too good.

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Q:Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: Conrad Barry

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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