What did Osama Bin Laden Say to Obama when they met? Nothing Osama is Dead

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Hey Shea

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What is brown and sticky?… A shit…

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What did the fish say when he ran into a wall? Fish don't run.

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Q: How do you count the population of Mexico? A: Take a census.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swings? Because at the climax point in the swing, gravity is making a much larger affect on you because you are pulling farther away from the earth as well as positioning your body in a way where it is awkward and unstable to support your body, which greatly increases the chance of you falling off and landing on the ground.

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Why was the little boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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why did the hobo want cancer so badly? he really needed a haircut

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10% of car thieves are left-handed. 80% of chimpanzees are left-handed. Therefore, if your car is stolen, there's an 8% chance a chimpanzee is responsible.

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if you are reading this your wasting your time

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A friend of mine said; the only vegetables that makes you cry are oignons. that was before I hit him with a watermelon

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whats the best part about ebola? nothing ebola is a dangerous virus

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Roses are red So are you Cause you killed my dreams So I killed you

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A guy walked into a bar, ouch.

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joe galasso from plainview ny

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family

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emma brown i did tap that shit -jackson edwards

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A black guy and a white guy both get pulled over by a cop for speeding. The white guy is promptly released with a stern warning, whle the black guy is thouroughly questioned and has his car searched for drugs, with the probable cause being that the black guy has bloodshot eyes, reeks of weed and has a bong in his frontseat.

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A brunette, redhead, and a blond were on a road trip when their car broke down in the middle of a desert. The red-head offered to walk down the road to get help, for none of them knew how to repair the car. She walked down the road in the direction they were headed, but never came back. The redhead and blond died several days later in the shade of the car as a result of extensive heat exhaustion.

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What did the underaged man say when he walked in the bar? He asked for a Coke.

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I was hungrey then i saw a man puke. Im still very hungrey. Then i threw up. Im not so hungrey

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make me a sandwich! what kind?

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The only positive thing in my life, is the HIV test! Lymmel

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I wish there were a city named Sample. So that the sign can say "Urine Sample"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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