Why did sally fall off the swing? She had no arms... Why couldn't sally get up? She had no legs Why did no one help sally? Because she has no friends.

One walrus says to the other, "Why are you shaking like that?" The other walrus says, " I've been addicted to ectasy for three years. It's ruining my life."

You know what rhymes with sloth? Rape.

Have you seen Stevie Wonders house?. No, Well neither has he...

A dyslexic atheist stays up at night wondering if there is a Dog

What did the hedgehog say to the beaver? Nothing, they can't talk.

what is big and can make things come out? a gun

What's the quickest way to a man's heart? A knife.

So I went to an audition, my friend said "break a leg" And then I did

Yo momma's so skinny she doesn't have any fat!

Why did the baby duck cry? Because his family just got ran over by a truck

A man jumped off a cliff. He died.

Why wouldn't anyone want Helen Kellers dog? It's been buried for a long time...

Why did Rihanna sing "to the left, to the left"? Because people usually sing in songs

A blonde, a redhead and a brunette were on an island. There were loads of other people too - the UK is a pretty popular place to live.

A woman is in a terrible car crash. The husband comes in, runs to the doctor and he says "Doctor! My wife...is she going to make it?" The doctor turns and says "your wife will survive, but she's experienced heavy brain trauma. She will never walk again. You'll have to bathe her, feed her, change her diapers, and cater to her every need." The husband starts crying and says "oh my God that's terrible! Are you serious?" The doctor replies "Yes."

Why did the boy fall down the stairs? Because he tripped.

If a blonde and a brunette fell off a cliff who would reach the ground first? The blonde because she was fatter.

What do Richard and Judy have in common? Nothing.

whats wores than eating a vag. a gaint vag eating you.

What did the mother do when she find out her daughter left for the party? Nothing. She realized her daughter was old enough to make mature descions.

What is the difference between my dog and my girlfriend? I love my dog

what's up? my penis.

No soup for you!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...