How did Darth Vader know what Luke Skywalker got for Christmas? He's his dad. He bought the presents.

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Q: Why did Suzie fall out the swings? A: She had no arms. Knock Knock! Who's there? Not Suzie.....

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What did one Japanese man say to the other? I don't know, I don't speak Japanese.

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Why didn't the boy eat his vegetables? he was dead

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for his birthday? A bike

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people who spank you sure are a pain in the ass.

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a duck walks up to a lemonade stand, says to the man running the stand. quack, because he's a duck

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Me: Ask me if i'm a truck. You: Are you a truck? Me: No.

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A german police officer sees a Rabbi. Nothing happens, it's 2011

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven ate the chicken.

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John walked up to his dad one morning and shouted, "Dad, it's my birthday!" Dad said, "Cool, how old are you?" John says, "I'm seven!" Dad tells him to go downstairs and tell his grandpa. Johnny runs down and says, "Grandpa, it's my birthday, guess how old I am!" Grandpa sticks his? hand in John's pants and sticks his thumb into his anus. As he pulls his hand out, he pinches his penis. Grandpa says, "You're seven." John says, "How did you know?" Grandpa says, "I heard you tell your dad upstairs."

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What do you call a quadriplegic man at a museum? "Sir," unless you happen to know his given name, in which case it would be most polite to call him that.

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? It needed excitement in its otherwise mundane lifestyle.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Rapist :(

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An Indian lady is pushing her child down a footpath in a stroller whilst leading her dog. A refridgerator lands on the mother. Why did the Chinese man behind her cry? Because loss of life is a frantic event and having witnessed such an event he was deeply shocked. He was also sad that no dogs were killed. This is because a dog killed his wife in a freak accident and he has held a grudge against the species ever since.

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Why was the little girl crying? There was a frog stapled to her forehead.

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Why did the boy miss the toilet when he was peeing? Cause he was in the shower.

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why did the boy die? because he got shot

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When were in a zombie apocalypse I will make sure to save you for 40 days and then I will sacrifice you

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Why did the deer cross the road? The overpopulation of man has caused an expansion of construction into the habitat of the deer and it has required him to occasionally frequent human populated areas.

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Whats the difference between a bottle of coke and a black man stuck in a phone booth? one of them is comparing himself to a bottle of coke, the other is a bottle of pepsi

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Why did the gir fall off of the swing? She had no arms.

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What do you call a clock that neither ticks nor tocks? A broken clock

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Once upon a time there was a small poor boy in a small German village. Her was name Smalls. Later he found out that he had to go back to Virginia because of their family then she got milk and went to the play that night like he was planning, and it was probably a problem with the clutch or transmission. It was fine because Smalls was 64 years old.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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