Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because having no sense of hearing or vision she is completely incapable of operating any sort of machinery.

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An anteatter walks into a bar, the bar tender says "hey renee zellweger"

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two peanuts walked into a bar they both sat down and immediately left once they found out the bar was serving peanuts.

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What is green and red all over? A christmas tree that is internally bleading.

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A girl walks into a bar and the bartender says, "why is your face so tan?" And she replies "I just got back from the beach."

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Q: Why does Billy get bullied at school? A: Because he has Down's Syndrome

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Link ate ink to make him sink.

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Whats worse then a worm in your apple This joke

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How many dead kids can you fit into a plastic bag in your trunk? Ask Kasey Anthony

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being molested by a giant octopus.

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A man walks to a bar and sees a very hot blonde sitting across the room. Turns out it was actually a blonde man and they both had a wonderful night because they were both homosexual.

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Whats worst than finding half a worm in your apple? Getting rapped by a giant scorpian

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue Wait Arent Violets purple?

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Why did Todd have intimacy problems? He was molested as a child.

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What is the difference between a duck? None! One of their legs are both the same.

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One day, a mother was talking with her three daughters. "Mommy," the first one asked, "Why did you name me Daisy?" "Because when we took you home, a daisy petal fell on your head." "Mommy," the second one said, "Why did you name me Rose?" "Because when we took you home, a rose petal fell on your head." "MMMMBBBWWAAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHH!" the third daughter cried. She was born with severe cognitive damage and is incapable of coherent speech.

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Why is the deer afraid of the hunter? Because he doesn't want to get shot.

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RECTUM? Damn near spelled "Wrecked Him" the wrong way!

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kennah campion when she talks

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A man walks into a bar... has a beer then leaves to his beautiful wife and his 2 children

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? It's dependent on many factors, like the size of the babies and the tub. It would be a horrific endeavor, and you should probably stop thinking about such things.

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chuck norris does not know how to use a plunger.

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Why didn't Suzie ride her bike? Suzie's mother aborded her. She was never born.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops