How did the little boy survive the massacre? He didn't. How did the little girl survive the massacre? She was the killer.

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A dyslexic man's favourite clothing shop is Tampon.

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What is blue and on the bottom of the pool. A drowned baby

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What did you call something that is long, hard and full of seamen? A ship.

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Yo mama's so ugly, she has difficulty attracting a partner.

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vote this down and i will DOX you

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What did the mute guy say to the deaf guy? Hi. He said it in sign language.

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What's funny about 3 black men in a car going off a cliff? Nothing. They were my friends.

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How did the ball fall from the cup? It didn't, it happened to be tied to a string attached to the cup.

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What is green and slow Grass.

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This is in Spanish when you're not looking.Just kidding, that's not possible. It's actually German.

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What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Being raped What's worse than being Raped. Being Raped 2 times by a Giant Scorpion.

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What was the homeless guy doing on the side of the rode? Begging for money.

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A beautoful poem: Roses are red Violets are blue I have a gun! gimme all your money!

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whats red, sits in a corner and is slowly getting smaller and smaller baby with a cheese grater whats green and sits motionless in the corner same baby 2 weeks later

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Roses are red Violets are blue Start running Cuz ima F*** you Runn Forest Runn! Jubie

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What did the cute little girl get for Christmas? Raped

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how do you tell the difference between a jew and a muslim? you ask them what their religion is.

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How did Mary fall off the swing? She got hit by a fridge.

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. I don't stalk him on normal days because that is both weird and illegal, thus I cannot come to a conclusion to what he does on opposite day. However, since he is lonely, I hypothesize that he must do something social, since the opposite on that is lonely.

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What did the black man do when he found a bucket full of KFC chicken on the ground? He promptly looked around for anyone who might have bought it. After searching around, with no takers, he ate some of the chicken and saved the rest. He brought it back to his apartment and left it in his fridge, so he may later eat it as leftovers.

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What does the alien say to the man? Nothing, because it is highly unlikely that an alien would ever land on Earth, and even more unlikely that they would speak the same language of us. On top of that, aliens would not know anything about our species, and would probably hide from us due to being frightened and eventually flee back to their home planet where we would never see them again because our techonology is not advanced enough and the chances that we would find their planet which is somewhere among the billions of planets in the universe, are slim.

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A blonde boards a plane and sits in first class. Another passenger sees the blonde in his seat and tells her she's in the wrong seat. "I'm not moving!" says the blonde. The passenger calls over the flight attendant. "Ma'am, you're supposed to be seated in economy class," says the flight attendant. "Please come with me." "No! I'm not moving!" The flight attendant informs the pilot. The pilot comes out, whispers in the blonde's ear, and then the two have wild sex, right in the open. Oh my God, you should have been there. She had the most incredible rack ever!!!

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What do you call a man with multiple sexual partners? Well, first you strongly urge him to get tested for any contagious and potentially dangerous STD's that could have been transmitted from one partner's genitalia to another person's genitalia which could have very well been he himself. They could be life threatening. Oh, and call him by his first name.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops