A horse walks into a bar and begins to moo. Everyone is confused until it takes off its costume and reveals it's just a cow.

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Why was the man sad? His wife left

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What's brown and smells of chocolate? Chocolate or something dipped in chocolate but that might also smell of something else - like bananas.

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What did Petunia say to the other Petunia Hi there Petunia

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What poops,smells bad,burps,wears diapers,farts,and screams spank me with a bib on That Depends what you do on saturday nights

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Yo Mama is so fat that she should probably make an appointment with a bariatric surgeon.

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Your momma is so fat, shes skinny.

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What did the German say to the Jew? Welcome to Germany we hope you enjoy your stay

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Nothing, he found his tractor and went back to work.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? It depends on their painting skills.

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what's the diferance between a boner and a lambroghini? I dont have a lambroghini

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer caught it.

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A black guy wearing a mask runs into a store, points his gun at the cashier, steals some money and runs out. The police start an investigation the following morning

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Q: What's the worst part about having sex with a cougar? A: Dying...

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because I hit her with a shovel.

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What should you do if reading the antijokes on this site makes you collapse with laughter? There is no need to worry about this because it won't happen.

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Your mums a potato

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What's is the worst thing america has done? Jersey Shore, We mad those idiots rich.

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Why did the dog in Detroit die in the street? It was stabbed.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Sorry wrong door.

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whats worse than being raped by a giant scorpion getting raped by 2 giant scorpions

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There are 3 guys named:Poop, Shut up and Manners. They all were speeding down the street, they took a sharp turn and Poop fell out of the back. A cop pulled them over while Manners got out to go get Poop. The cop says, "whats your name." "Shut up." "No seriously whats your name." "Shut up" he says a little bit harsher. "Wheres your manners?" the cop says. "Back there picking up Poop."

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"Is your fridge running?" "Yes, I believe so" "You'd better go make sure, because I put some chicken in there and it didn't seem very cold to me"

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A man walks into a doctors office. The doctor says "I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want to hear first?" The man responds "I'd like to hear the good news." The doctor says "I ran a series of tests and found you have leukemia, but your insurance covered everything." The man hangs his head and tears up as he asks "What's the bad news?" The doctor heads for the door as he answers "Your company is switching to a private insurer and because of your pre-existing condition you're being denied coverage. None of your future treatments or appointments will be paid for." The man snaps his fingers and says "Damn! I should've voted Democrat!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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