With all due respect, I do underestimate myself, there is not a single person I know that has not told me that, but if I wanted to, I would not even had to make the effort to have you removed, hell I had to pull favors and owe people things in order to keep you safe. I could have said the rest of you, but had I not known you, had you not been one of my co-workers back then, I would not have gone to the extremes that i did, you are beautiful, but what does that have to do with anything? Do you think that if I did not know you I would go "that one is sexy, release her?" Even if I did, I do not have authority, I work for them.

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Why are there cookie's in the jar? 'Cause I put cookies in the jar

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This ones for the dudes: Whats worse then having sex with a woman with no penis? Having se with a man

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A Jew and a Nazi encountered each other on the street. They exchanged pleasant greetings and carried on in their desired directions.

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A shark walks into a bar. The bartender asks someone to call animal control to remove the nearly-dead sea creature from his bar.

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What did the cracker say to the cheese? You're so cheesy.

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whats more embarissing rhan being raped by a squirel? Being a 40 year old virgin working at mcdonalds

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Hickory dickery dock, two mice ran up the clock. The clock struck 1 and the other got away with minor injuries.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Cause he felt like it.

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women and girls can really get enjoyment out of sex. it's not really about controlling the man.

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What's the difference between a ginger and a brick? Bricks get laid

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Why did the woman make a sandwich? Because she was hungry.

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Why do so many black people like watermelon? The same reason so many white people, do. Have you had that stuff, it's really good!

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Q: what do you call a boy with no arms and an eye patch? A: names

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Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear, Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair... Fuzzy Wuzzy has cancer

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: No one knows, he was a chicken, and was not capable of human speech, so he never told anyone.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: In order to avoid being mauled by a coyote.

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Wanna know a secret? I didn't read or agree to the terms and services

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rabbits running in my bathroom!

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Why did the Fly die? Cause it died the average life span is 30 days.

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What did Sam Houston Say to Jim Bowie when he say all the Mexicans coming Towards the Alamo? That's a lot of Mexicans.

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A woman is in a terrible car crash. The husband comes in, runs to the doctor and he says "Doctor! My wife...is she going to make it?" The doctor turns and says "your wife will survive, but she's experienced heavy brain trauma. She will never walk again. You'll have to bathe her, feed her, change her diapers, and cater to her every need." The husband starts crying and says "oh my God that's terrible! Are you serious?" The doctor replies "Yes."

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So a ninja walks into a bar and he sees a cowboy and the ninja says i will kill you with my mad ninja skills and the cowboy says who needs mad ninja skills when you got a gun

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Why'd the guy fall off the building? I pushed him

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops