Why wasn't Abraham Lincoln a good president? Because he got shot in the head and died.

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How does Fred drink his milk? -computer

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the power to turn magnetism into light

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save me from the nothing ive become

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a disabled man takes a walk in a park

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Why is Evan short? He was born that way.

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How come Helen Keller didn’t scream when she fell off the cliff? Because at 19 months she contracted an illness that left her blind and deaf and therefore never learned to properly use her vocal cords

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What's funnier than Tom Cruise laughing like a badass? Chuck Norris

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What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence? three-thirty.

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Mexican? I dont care if you are Mexican or not really, it makes no difference to me, I know you, I seen you before. But seriously, I consider you a good friend and all, and it seems we both get along, but you know after stuff happens, are we still friends then or is this all just a mating game thing for you? You can be honest with me, I am a realist, and I kinda like the idea of,the day after tomorrow, wont deny that. Its just that I dont want to lose a good friend in the process, and if this is just you trying to score, then well, I guess its still nice knowing this side of you.

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Q:What business did the black man break into? A: The business of show, because he was a talented actor.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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What would Abraham Lincoln do if he were alive today? Scream and scratch at the lid of his coffin.

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What happens when a man farts a fancy memorial party in a ball room in England... At least 1000 people die somewhere on earth in the time his butt squeezed out that fart. And I'm sure someone gets raped.

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Your mamma's so dumb, we are seriously worried she might hurt herself.

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Why can't white kids say the "F" word? Because they'll get soap in their mouths Why can't black kids say the "F" word? Because they'll get a beating until their butts turn black and blue and they'll start crying in pain

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How do you kill a fox? With a gun. How do you kill a deer? With a gun.

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Knock knock. I have a doorbell...

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What did the blanket say when it fell off the bed Awwww sheeeeeeet!

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how do you get a cat out of a tree? shoot it

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How do you make a clown stop laughing? Hit him in the face with an ax.

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Q. What do you call a person with no arms, legs, torso, or head? A. A mutilated corpse.

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Why was six afraid of seven? A: He just does.

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why did suzy get hit by the bus because she got dumped into the road and she had no legs

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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