Why did the chicken cross the road? He did it for fitness.

Whats worse than cold feet? getting your feet chopped off.

Just the other day there was a house, and unforunatly Bob was a burn victim, the doctors said that he would have had a slow and excruciatingly painful death... Luckily he was already dead!

Little Brianna has a special body part. That's why I kidnapped and sexually assaulted her.

Roses are Red And sometimes yellow My mother is mellow I have terminal cancer. I also fisted my grandpa's anus last night

Your mamma is so fat that she is undergoing strict diet and exercise in order to reduce the risk of premature death due to health complications.

what was postman pat's name before he was a postman? Pat.

Who is the greatest cook ever? Adolof Hitler

What did the alcoholic tell his son? Don't do meth.

Why did Jorge eat Larry's face? He was on bath salt.

Q: How many licks does it take to the center of a tootsie pop? A: At least one.

What do you call an amazing person Good

q; whats small and high pitched a; rory johnston

what is the worst thing to find out about for wife she is your arm

Knock Knock Who's There Not you... What? *Pulls out finger gun* *Screams BOOM!*

What is the difference between a Ferrari and 1,000 babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

Why wasn't the elephant allowed to the pajama party? Because he didnt have any pajamas.

what is the difference between a white woman and a black woman.. i raped the black one

Your mom is so stupid that she was unable to make it into the college of her choice.

An alligator walks into a bar. The bar tender calls animal control and calmly escorts everyone out the back door.

what did the teacher say to his student? do your work.

In 1284, while the town of Hamelin was suffering from a rat infestation, a man dressed in pied clothing appeared, claiming to be a rat-catcher. He loyally promised the townsmen a solution for their problem with the rats. The townsmen in appreciation and glad to get rid of the infestation promised to pay him for the removal of the rats, they were looking forward to being left in peace. The man pleased with their decision accepted, and played a mystical musical pipe to lure the rats with a joyous song into the Weser River, where all but one drowned. Despite his renowned success, the people reneged on their promise and refused to pay the rat-catcher the full amount of money. The man left the town angry and upset the people had betrayed his kindness, he did however vow to return some time later, seeking revenge. On Saint John and Paul's day while the inhabitants were happily sat in church, he played his pipe yet again, dressed in green, like a hunter, this time attracting the young and joyful children of Hamelin. One hundred and thirty boys and girls followed him out of the town, skipping in song as they went, where they were lured into a cave. The events that followed are now known as the 1284 mass child massacrer, in which all 130 children were raped and savagely tortured and killed one by one, each viscously taped and recorded for the pipe pipers satisfaction, where a copy of each tape was sent to their corresponding parents, this was before their bodies turned up dangling from a tree and the bottom of the village, all 130 of them unrecognisable from decomposition and mutilation the pipe piper had inflicted.

What Do You Call A Black Guy Surrounded By Nine White Guys With Bats? Jackie Robinson.

Q: What drug did the addict do at the Grand Canyon? A: None; after years of battling substance abuse, he came to realize the social, financial, and health consequences had significantly degraded his quality of life, and was appalled by his bad decisions.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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