What's the difference between Justin Bieber and R. Kelly? One is an arrogant asshole known for pissing on things, the other is R. Kelly.

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Why was Stephanie sad? She dropped a washing machine on her toe

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs on a doorstep? A: Matt.

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Why'd Mary fall off her bike? Because she was hit by a bus. Knock knock? Who's there? Not Mary... O.o

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WITH YOUR RED THUMBS COMBINED! I AM CAPTAIN MORAL! You: GOOOOO (AWAY) MORAL! CAPTAIN MORAL MAN, IS A HERO, GONNA TAKE GREEN THUMBS RIGHT BACK TO ZERO... Moral: Okay that is all I remember about the Captain Planet Theme song... GIVE ME RED THUMBS MUAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA! PS: Redhead, three months have passed (more or less) I wont call you because we agreed you would get of this fucking place, but I can visit you if you are a good little girl! And yeah I am calling you Red, Tifa just reminds me of Final Fantasy and your big bosoms so yeaaaaah get your little red haired cunt over here so we can chat yes?

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One day, 2 people were gonna fight after school and then the final bell rung. Everyone gathered in the bathroom to watch the fight. The challenger asks the opponent, "Hey whats that one thing you say when you let the other person win?" then the opponent says, "I give up?" The opponent yells, "I win!"

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream cone? Because he got hit by a bus.

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My friend was in court for stealling smoothies so i told him to plead innocent and received 10 years in a federal prison and a fine of up too £5000 pounds

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Why is Short Circuit the best movie ever made? Because it tastes like lemons

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Knock knock Who's there? Hi I'm John from the jehovah witness society down the street and I'd love to talk to you about your beliefs! Would you like a pamphlet?

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How many pancakes do you need to reach a 2.5m roof? Purple, because aliens don't fly

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How many Italians does it take to change a light bulb....... 1

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What did the disrespectful cow say to his parents? Mooo. I hate you both

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friends are like onions when you chop them up you cry but when you throw them out of a window, you dont

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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What's white and smells like crap? An albino tird. Just kidding, Justin Biebers music.

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when your out of toilet paper what do you do? get more

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So, a monkey walks ino a bar... I can't remember the rest of the joke, but your mother is a whore.

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what has a huge nose and is jewish??? Henery Miller!!!!!

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm.

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Whats brown and sticky? A antelope.

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what did the girl say when she lost her shoe where is my shoe

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Roses are red, violets are blue, your face belong in the zoo, don't worry I get there too, not in the cage, just visiting you :)

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Roses are red Violets are blue Trash gets dumped Just like you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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