Why did the tomato blush? A tomato's complexion is already red so it simply appears to be blushing

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why was the kid crying? because he had to go to school GDS*

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what did one sandwich say to another sandwich? nothing, sandwiches cant talk

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A kangaroo walks into a bar, he hops up to the bartender, and asks for a martini. The bartender, not knowing exactly what to do, goes into the back to his boss's office. He says "Hey, there's a kangaroo up front askin' for a martini...do we serve kangaroos?" His boss replies "Ya, of course, but these kangaroos, they aren't too smart, so charge him like 50 bucks for the drink." The bartender agrees and goes back up front to serve the kangaroo. He pours the martini and hands it to the kangaroo, the kangaroo thanks him and says "How much do I owe you?" The bartender replies "50 bucks." The kangaroo then reaches into his pouch, pulls out a fifty dollar bill, and puts it on the counter. He finishes his drink and begins to hop away. As he is leaving, the bartender says "Hey, wait, we don't get many of your kind around here, why is that?" And the kangaroo replies "I'm not surprised at THESE prices!!!" and hops out.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass I lied about the wheels

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what do you call 3 mexicans in the back of a car? Carpooling to work to save on gas.

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what did the black guy say to the white guy? black guy: hello how are you doing white guy: good i guess.... just heard they shut down KFC black guy: that sucks

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Teacher- What comes after 69 Boy- Mouthwash?? Teacher- LEAVE!

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why are anti jokes so funny? cuz u pobably just laughed at this one.

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What's purple, green, and orange? Dead baby with slashed floaties. What's black, purple, and orange? Same baby two weeks later.

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Why aren't there any painkillers in the jungle? because of the unethical and unscrupulous practices of big pharma

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Knock knock: Who's there? Guy in the doghouse. Guy in the doghouse who? WILL YOU LET ME OUT OF HERE?!?

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AYE DEAD ON CAOIMHIN

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Why was the boy late for class? He was late because he got stabbed and left in the bathroom.

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how do you scare a deaf person? you yawn

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Whats black and can multitask? My IPod you racist!

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What do a plum and a bunny have in common? They're both purple. Except the bunny.

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What do you call a chicken who eats chicken. Cannibal

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ejaculation JLR

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why did the girl cross the road? to get away from you

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you know what? CHICKEN BUTT. butt of chicken ahahahaa

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An innocent man's home was raided by police, who accused him of grand theft auto. It turns out it was just a case of mistaken identity.

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What is red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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