Knock Knock The homeowner's acquaintance had called him just minutes prior because he had forgotten something at his house. With this having occurred, the homeowner had a strong sense of who was at the door. Being a cautious person however, he checked his prediction by examining the man through the door's peephole. Having asserted that it was what he had in mind, the homeowner opened the door and handed him some papers that were of importance to the acquaintance.

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Why was the bus driver sad? The kid with the icecream had c4 strapped to his chest.

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what do you get when you come across a old dog with herpes, a fat man with herpes and an apple? you get nothing but the satisfaction of seeing such a horrific sight

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What did the blind man say to his teacher? Nothing, blind people can't talk.

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What do you call it when a blonde jumps off the Empire State Building without a parachute? Suicide.

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how many licks did it take the boy to get to the center of a tootsie pop? he died of cancer

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Your mamma's so dumb, she's had problems functioning in society, due to illiteracy problems, and a general incomprehension of her surroundings and own thoughts.

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what did Marvin Gay's father say to him before he died? "hey come listen to this 45 real quick"

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DON'T TOUCH MY DUCK, IT HAS A ONE DOLLAR BILL

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That's about as suspicious as a nun doing squats in a cucumber field.

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chuck norris was shot yesterday... tomorrow is the bullets funeral.

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What's blue, orange, and silver all over? Nothing. That's a ridiculous combination of colors.

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What did the wall say to the other wall? Nothing. Walls don't talk.

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No because your face is really f***** up.

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A black man, a small child, and a priest were all standing in line. They were all checking in the hospital after being in a 3 car pileup

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roses are red violets are blue my dick hurts blue waffles

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Young Billy was arrested today for saying he was going to be a terrorist for Halloween.

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Microwave

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Hitler wasn't such a bad guy. He did kill Hitler.

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Don't you just hate it when a sentence doesn't end the way you octopus?

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what does I.C.T mean when a teacher says it it means I cant teach

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Q: why did the train not make it to the station? A: it crashed and killed everybody on board.

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How do you get a fat man to go outside? Blow up his house

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A cat walks by a chineese buffet, the owner kindly puts food and water outside the door so it doesnt die

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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