-On a scale of one to ten, what's your favourite colour of the alphabet? -The answer is yes, because aliens don't wear hats.

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what did the soup kitchen give people for christmas Meatloaf] -Fluzturnusturbusturcusterdustur

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Why did Todd have intimacy problems? He was molested as a child.

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I C U P White stuff

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Whats worst than finding half a worm in your apple? Getting rapped by a giant scorpian

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What did the Rabbi say when the Priest asked how his family was? The Rabbi breaks into tears as he explains his family was killed in the Holocaust.

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What do you call a baby that got hit by a train? Thomas

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Roses are blue Violets are red I got this backwards Carpets are nice

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Link ate ink to make him sink.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being molested by a giant octopus.

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What's green and if you eat it you die? A Biljarts table.

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How do you confuse a gay person? How? 7

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Q. Why were the children sad? A. They'd just been abducted by a dodgy old man in a van.

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Shakespeare walks into a bar, Having just seen someone that has been dead for over 400 years, the young man in the corner quits his drug addiction; it was clearly messing with his brain.

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what is orange and sounds like a parrot a carrot

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What's big, red and delicious? A prune. I lied about it being big, red and delicious.

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Why is the deer afraid of the hunter? Because he doesn't want to get shot.

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What's black and doesn't work? Half of Detroit.

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How many hipsters does it take to change a light bulb? ...You mean, you don't know?

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What did one bunny rabbit say to the other bunny rabbit? I'm a bunny rabbit!

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why did the man commit scuicide because he was depressed

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Mexicans are inferior because! BEECUZ! Listen buddy, to be honest, I get girls every now and then because I am what they all want me to be, myself. You are a great friend as far as I am concerned, and I care a lot about you considering I saw you once like... 13 years ago, but I do not spend an entire night chatting with someone on horsehead network out of all things unless that person means a lot more than sex for me... Hell, if I did not feel that nice about you, I would not even have wanted to, and that sounds really awkward for a guy like me to say, believe me, you wont be losing a friend. AS LONG AS YOU KEEP GIVING IT TO ME! I am joking, but this is who I am (sadly) I have many female friends, and yeah well, some I well you know, I am just not the kind of guy that listens to girls sob stories, and pretend to be their gay best friend, while I watch someone bad ass come and bang her... Nah, I am more like that bad ass banger, except I dont break girls hearts afterwards. Seriously, I am really fond of you, to the point where I will say something guys mostly do not say: If you are feeling pressured into stuff, then dont do it, you wont be losing a friend, I wanna spend an intimate night with you (day, shower, on the breakfast table all that) but thats because I really like you, we have built some intimacy in pretty short time if you ask my opinion... See? Now I am being honest and leaving myself vulnerable, and I do that because I honestly care about you.

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how do you make an idiot laugh? tell him a joke from antijoke

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Girl: I wanna get yo pants. Boy: but im wearing shorts.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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