OMG FUCKING NERDS WITH NO LIFE CAN READ ABOUT THE POWER OF YOUR Vaginal puss puss color, no but seriously, I kinda prefer unshaven, I mean if I change my opinion I just do it myself or command that you shave yourself while I put it on my cellphone while I jack off to you, making a creampie, yeah because.

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whats the hardest part about eating a vegitable getting your mouth around the wheelchair.

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If I could slow down time I would have become a super criminal or something, no, my movements become slower also, ever heard of a game Max Payne? The character can slow down his perception of time and still aim his gun normally while he himself moving at the same speed as the rest. I well... when time seems to go slower, my thoughts do not, so yeaaah, Except my fast reactions also make me wear myself out faster to the point where I got injured a lot as a kid, like smacking my wrist against arcade games and stuff, broke my wrist, as a teen, still hurts when it rains, yeah weird but true.

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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There is a blonde, Santa and Jesus. Someone throws a million dollars on the ground who picks it up? Me because I shot them

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Once upon a time a was born

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Knock knock! Go away. I'm busy masturbating, and it would be extremely awkward if you were to entire my residence at this time. Please return at a later hour.

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What did the black man say while getting mauled by a jungle cat? "Help im dying", as the animal riped him peice by peice with fear in his eyes he died slowly as the jungle cat draged him back to its den helplessly he fades away and the animal eats him.

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Q: why did the 10 year old squirt his dad with the water hose? A: what 10 year old WOULDN'T?

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When I was little I used to love to dig up worms. Out of my ass.

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What was sandusky's role at penn state turned tight ends into wide receivers

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Gary: Hey Bill, wanna hear a joke? Bill: Yes Gary: Okay.

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A stoner walks into a bar. A few minutes later he is asked to leave by the bartender because he is disruptive and uncoordinated. The stoner leaves because conflict is not in his nature.

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What do men and parking spots have in common? Both often have cars on top of them. Vehicular manslaughter is a serious issue.

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Yesterday i had a conversation with my husband. I asked him if he slept with another women. He said yes

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Get in the Batmobile.

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What do you call a black woman in a pool? Drowning.

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I put the STD in stud now all i need is U

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What is the difference between a jew and a boyscout? A boyscout comes home from camp.

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If you can cut half a rope. You can cut the whole rope.

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Want to burn 3000 calories in under 5 MINUTES? Take a store bought pizza and put it in the over for as long as you want. Just watch the calories burn away in a puff of smoke!

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Roses are red Violets are blue Refrigerators are whitWhen falling from trees, they kill you

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Why was the blonde so dumb? Because she came from a very poor family and could not afford a decent education

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Q. Why did my ass feel so sweaty? A. Because i was exercising and suckn on some nips.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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