A man walks into a bar. He sits down and orders a drink. The bartender gives him a drink. The man walks out of the bar. He drives home and slaps his wife. Alcohol is destroying his marriage.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

what did the murderer say when he lost his gun? dangit. now i cant kill anyone

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why was 13 afraid of 27 Because 51 had an extra penis

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Q. What did the woman use for vaginal medication? A. Standard Strength Vagisil.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Hey there, I like bananas! No you don't.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Q: Whats metal and shiny? A: You're lame childhood accomplishments.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Doctor, I keep believing I am stuck in the Matrix! Oh thats common, you know existencial crisis and so on but we got medications, you want the blue or the red pill?

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What did Susie do when the music was too loud Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down -7

How do you call a cat for it's dinner? Come here cat!

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Whats more sad then four black men in a car driving off a cliff? The man they stolen the car from doesn't have car insurance.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why was the asian bad at sex? Because he was 5 years old

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why do women like NASCAR? They don't.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A Japanese man, a Canadian man and a French woman walk into a bar. They do not converse because they don't speak the same language.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

How did Nissan show its new car in there commircals By driving very fast and hitting fat kids $

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the woman put super glue on her sun glasses? Because she stepped on them and they broke.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

id give my right arm to be ambidextrous

thumb_up thumb_down -7

I'm not wearing underwear. Why? Because I have built in underwear. :)

thumb_up thumb_down -7

There are two blonds in a car, the driver to looks to the other blond (carelessly taking in her surroundings) They crash and the passenger is grusomely killed to the point of not being recognized and the driver later commits suicide from the guilt and pending law suit.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What Did The Kid With No Arms And No Legs Get For His Birthday? A Walking Stick

thumb_up thumb_down -7

It was okay, then Alice my friend and a nurse insisted (she can be a total bitch) I take a painkiller, of course that messed up my focus completely and threw off my hypnotic suggestion which I use to shut down the pain receptors. Ironically I cannot seem to shut off my allergy to dust. Oh, yeah it was the standard bullshit Mensa test, ten patterns or something, oh and while I am terrible at trivia, I am actually much smarter than a fifth grader, I mean one kid told me he was smarter because he could do math better than me and he could, so I choked the little bitch to death, who is the smartest one now?

thumb_up thumb_down -7

If 2 wrongs make a right and 2 rights make a wrong, then when you have 4 rights=2 wrongs, you have a true statement. If you have 8 rights = 4 wrongs, you have a verified statement.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Rebecca Black's career.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Do you know why the kid jumped down the 50 foot hole? I dont know, jump in and ask him.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops