whats fat, green and hairy? Nothing I would pleasure myself to.

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"Hey baby, did it hurt when you fell from up there?" "Waaaaaaahhhhh..." "Ok, let me kiss it better."

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Sidney was a man, but not just any man... He was a fishmonger.

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roses are red violets are blue. they both smell like flowers

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Every week or so Chuck Norris does his laundry.

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what happens when you throw a green rock into the red sea? -- it gets wet

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roses are red violets are blue your moms a whore thats it

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YOU KNOW YOU'RE AS FAT AS JESSE WHEN... 1. The scales don't go up to the weight you weigh. 2. You know the true meaning of the word Plus-Size. 3. You can't see your feet without sitting down.

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A man quites his job to open a coffee shop which has been a dream of his for years, The shop does well with a healthy supply of customers and a steady income,The man is now financially stable.

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Neither have I, nobody knew him.

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Whats the difference between 2 white men? They both have different jobs and one is racist orange peel.

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What's funnier than 10 dead babies in a trash can? 1 dead baby in 10 trash cans.

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"Ask me if I'm a tree," "Are you a tree?" "No."

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What do you call a person that smells like shite and chases uglier girls than him? .. . . . . . . .. . . . . . Smelly McD the smelly cunt

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No, you would have made me unhappy and yourself miserable, until you truly value who you are, as we that still look up to you to this day, you wont see the greatness within you.

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There was a blonde, brunette, and a redhead. They are spending a relaxing afternoon together as a result of being restricted to their heavy therapeutic sessions which they are constantly in need of because all three have been diagnosed with clinic depression since everyone jokes about them so much and in conclusion, they don't see each other very often.

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This one time, at band camp, I played the trumpet.

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why is 6 afraid of 7 because seven is black

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why is justin bieber so pale? Because he hasn't come out of the closet.

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Why couldn't Sally celebrate hollaween? Because she's not allowed to take candy from strangers. Also Sally died a week ago in a car crash.

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Roses are black Violets are black Oh fuck I'm blind!

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What's black and white and red all over? Half of a zebra.

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"You must defeat Shen Long to stand a chance"

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How did the woman get pregnant? She was thrown into a pool filled with semen.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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