Q: What do you call a man with no arms or legs? A: Disabled.

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Q:What the difference between a piano and a guitar A: Nothing, there both instruments and i lied about the difference

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Old Mother Hubbard Went to the cupboard, To give the poor dog a bone: When she came there, The cupboard was bare, And so the poor dog had none. So Old Mother Hubbard was reported for animal cruelty

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Q - How do you call black people driving in a black car on the black road, then falling off the black cliff into the black water? A - An unfortunate accident.

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What do you call a mother cow? Moooom

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No soap radio

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A horse walks into a bar The bartender says "why the long face?" The horse says nothing, because he's a horse The bartender soon relizes there is a horse in his bar, and calls animal control

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Okay, hundred billions, and because I am fucking hungry, we make it perpetual, now the longer you keep the feeling going, the stronger and stronger and you know, trillions, indefillions, nondecillions, hell, make up your own numbers and just consider them higher. Bet its starting to feel pretty nice huh?

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Why did the black man go to jail? Because he committed a criminal offense.

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Why was 6 afraid of 12? Because 12 used to beat up 6 and now 6 has a restraining order against 12. 12 has to stay at least 5 numbers away from 6.

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A black man and a white woman walk into a bar and celebrate their interracial marriage anniversary over a couple of drinks and then call a cab to avoid driving while intoxicated

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A Mexican, a Jew, an American and an Indian are on a plane with no parachutes. No one jumps out because no one has a parachute.

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What came first the chicken or the egg? Neither, chickens have been extinct since 1987.

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Why was the leaf green? Chlorophyll

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- Pete and Repeat are in a boat. Repeat falls off, who's left? - Pete? - F**k yes.

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(Timmy has no arms or legs.) A:Knockknock! B:Who's there? ANot Timmy

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Why did old Mary fall off the cliff? There were no brakes on her wheelchair

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Why did i try to write a funny joke? Cuz i was desperately bored.....

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a registered sex offender.

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A duck walks ino a bar...... f*ck this sh*t im going to candy land.

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What did the Coke can say to the Pepsi can? Nothing it is a inanimate object and cannot speak.

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roses are red you are dumb no one will care when you die

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How many rats does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two. But they have to be really small.

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A man says to his doctor, "doctor, doctor, I think I have a split personality." The doctor responds, "That makes 4 of us."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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