A child is in the grocery checkout with their parents. It sees the candy display and asks for a pack of Reese's. When the parents do not grant the child's request, they begin to scream and cry. When they arrive home, the child is beaten with a copper rod. The new puppy that the child got for a birthday present is hanged and fed to buzzards.

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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How do you get a ninja to do a backflip? Ask him nicely.

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What's worse than burning your bacon? Finding your daughter decapitated and raped in the basement.

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A priest was walking home from church one day when he found a young boy crouching naked in the bushes. The priest contacted local law enforcement authorities on his cell phone and proceeded home once they arrived.

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What do you call a woman outside of the kitchen? Out of place.

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What did the kid with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A: Cancer

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Q: How did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: It was dead Q: How did the second monkey fall out of the tree? A: It was taped on to the first one!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, This is a poem, Whoop-dee-do.

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What happens when your school teacher gives you homework over the break? You give your teacher homework too!

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Why couldnt the pirate get into the movies? Because it was rated pg-13 and his parents didnr likw him watching that

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There is a law in california that says that women are not allowed to drive with house coats.

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Fat people

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A blonde, brunette, and redhead find a cliff that is supposed to turn you into something which you exclaim upon leaping from the cliff. The brunette jumps off and exclaims: BIRD! She thus falls to her death on a ton of pointy rocks. The other two loot her corpse and walk away.

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what did one dog say to his sex partner? woof woof

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Yo mama so ugly that she often has trouble being attractive towards people of the opposite gender

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why did the child fail to make his bed? because he has downs syndrome and he is incapable of participating in everyday activities.

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why was smokey bear sad? he got cancer from smokeing

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What did the blind girl say? Its dark in here.

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Knock knock! Who's there? The police your son died in a car crash.

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What gets you a succesful life and career? Swag

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Why did the gitl fail her cooking class? Because she was abused and severely beaten by her teacher

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how did the man jump over the mountain? it was a small mountain and he had a trampoline

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A man walks into a bar. It was his push-up bar that he didn't install high enough. He bumps his head and it hurts.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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