Two girls are in a car together. The one in the drivers seat is texting while driving. The girl in the passengers seat notices this and tells her the she should put it away in case of a risk of a collision. She apologizes and puts it away and the two of them drive to the store unharmed and continued their normal day.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, purple is a color, I like grilled cheese

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A. Treadmil

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Why was the boy crying? His mother has terminal cancer, and his father does not have the financial stability to cover the cost of the surgery and keep up on house payments and buying clothes and food for the children. He will be living in a foster home in a matter of a week.

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Why doesnt snow like Asians? Snow is a form of precipitation within the Earth's atmosphere in the form of crystalline water ice, consisting of a multitude of snowflakes that fall from clouds. Since snow is composed of small ice particles, it is a granular material. It has an open and therefore soft structure, unless packed by external pressure. Snowflakes come in a variety of sizes and shapes. Types which fall in the form of a ball due to melting and refreezing, rather than a flake, are known as graupel, ice pellets or snow grains. Therefore since snow is unhuman they are then thus incapable of emotions because they lack any vitals organs.

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A man walks into a bar and sees a man with a big orange head. The man asks the bartender, "Why does that guy have a big orange head?" The bartender replies," If you buy him a beer, maybe he'll tell you." So the man buys a beer and gives it to the man with the big orange head and asks why he has a big orange head. The man says, "One day I found a genie and my first wish was to be the richest man in the world, my second wish was to be married to the most beautiful woman in the world, and for my third wish, I told the genie,'Ya know, why don't you give me a big orange head."

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How do you get 100 midgets into a Mini? You have to manufacture a Mini large enough to accommodate 100 midgets. It wouldn't be street-legal, but at least the problem of getting 100 midgets into a Mini is solved

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A nuclear reactor explodes and all the waste are going straight out in the ocean. I just bought a new xbox.

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A kid asks his mom: "Mom, what would I be when I grow up?" And so his mother answers: "You won't grow up, you have cancer"

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What's the warmest organ in a dead baby's body? My penis

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Whats the difference between obama and Michael Jackson? Michael Jackson Is dead

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1st guy:i like anti jokes. 2nd guy:me too, they make me laugh.

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Why did the depressed man jump off the bridge? Because bungee jumping is a great activity to relieve stress.

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Q: What did the clown say when he got in a car accident? A: Nothing. He died.

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Q: If a tree falls in a forest and no one is there to hear it, does it still make a sound? A: Yes

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Q: Whats Brown and sticky A: an eagle except for the brown and sticky part

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Why is John single? Because women are materialistic.

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Quinn Grifith Randel lives in Roswell, GA

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A man saw a dinosaur yesterday. He had a very nice time at the museum.

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What shoes keep dogs quiet? Hush puppies.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

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Why didn't Santa deliver presents until the night after Christmas? You should go ask someone who knows.

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why did the Asian father want his son to be a doctor? because he wants his son to live good life so he could have a loving family and a payable job.

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What's the best thing about having sex with twenty six year olds? There's twenty of them.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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