your mommas so fat she has been advised to diet and excercise or run the risk of terminal illness

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What do you call an asian plumber? A plumber.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

But I like being mean and angry! Nevermind, 158 according to Mensa`s standard bullshit test (my wife got 160, I remember we argued a lot over it because I kept insisting they would not use the same predictable pattern again... I overestimated them wildly I can make more advanced stuff than they can, and in no way do I consider myself "The worlds elite required to ensue the future survival and salvation of mankind`s finest and fittest" those fucking arrogant suckers,,,) Below average in any test including American presidents and historical events. Aaand about 450 in any bullshit online test which then offers you "more accurate tests" which cost money and probably destroys the fake confidence any idiot buying such a test in the first place might have built up,

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What happens when a girl sticks her head in a birthday cake? She gets a toothpick stuck in her eyebrow. Trust me..I know.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Lets just say I work for some important people, not the feds that is for sure, ill tell you when we meet, not here. As for my condition, lets just say that I am profusely bleeding noseblood now and that is because I forgot to take my medication, and if I had no medicaions at all, I would have begun bleeding out of me ears end eye sockets, and ironically id die from a lot of other shit before bleeding to death, so thats not even the case. Its nothing common, but I bet people could find out about it pretty fast on wikipedia, and as much as I like throwing shit on random people here, I dont like bothering anyone with my problems, in this case, it came kinda sudden and unexpected, and I dont mind sharing my deepest aspects including this with my best friends, of which one of them you clearly are love.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

what happend when the little boy went on the rollercoaster ? It crashed.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

How many pianos does it take to change a lightbulb? Two. One to change the lightbulb, and one to play a motivational tune.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Q: Why Cant The T-Rex Clap? A: No, Its Not Because His arms are to short, Its because he's Dead You Idiot...

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why did my penis cross the road? To get to the other vagina.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why did the black man break up with his white girlfriend? Because he didn't love her anymore.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Q: What's the difference between a bird and a fly? A: A bird can fly, but a fly can't bird.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Ham sandwich

thumb_up thumb_down -29

knock knock who's there peedo peedo who scissors

thumb_up thumb_down -29

A black guy, a mexican, and a jew walk in a bar. The mexican had to go to the bathroom. He asked the bartender where the bathroom was and she directed him down the hall where he pooped in quietly.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

A man spoke in a high-pitched voice. Another man said "Are you gay" He responded, "Why, yes"

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What did the whale say when he ran into a wall? - Oh Shit

thumb_up thumb_down -29

what do you call a sick eagle illegal

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What Sound does a baby make in a blender? I don't know I'm to busy masturbating to it

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Q: What is red and smells like blue paint? A: my red painted d*ck

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What did the Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor? Make me one with everything.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

the wild black man is searching for food. He spots a KFC, and goes wild. He then proceeds to get in line.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why did the mexican buy 50 tacos? Because he was taking them to the orphanage where he grew up. Isn't that nice?

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What did the boy with no parents get for Christmas from his Grampa? Nothing because his Grampa had alzheimer's disease -Flap

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What do you call a Knight who farts a lot? Sir Farts-a-lot

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops