where would you find a blind man's car? exactly where he left it...

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Whats the difference beetween a pilgrim and a jack-o-lantern? Jack-o-lanters didn't discover america.

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a piece of string walks into a bar and the bartender says “sorry we dont serve your kind here” so the string goes outside twists himself round and ruffles up one of his ends then walks back into the bar, the bartender says “aren’t you the piece of string i just kicked out?” the string then replies “i’m a frayed knot”

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how many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? --probably just one, unless cerebral palsy runs in her blood, therefore her aid would assist her.

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What's a computer without Internet? A computer.

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Whats the difference between Megan Fox and a dead baby? Megan Fox is alive

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A man walks into a bar and poops his pants. He left because of the embarrassment.

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What are three things an average teenager cannot live without? Oxygen, Food, and Water. Duh.

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Your mom's house is so old, that she has rats and other various critters such as spiders, gnats, and mosquitoes.

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ill take a bullet for you... on call of duty... nahhh that ruins my kd

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Wanna hear a joke? Me neither.

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How does Ron Weasley greet Harry in the morning? Mornin' Horry, how did ghe' sleep?

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Spilling Dr. Pepper on your carpet

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A man walks into a bar. What does he say? A: Ow.

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Sloths

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to my house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

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Why did the christmas tree smell like shit? because pavaroti used it as a dildo

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Why do dead babies go to funerals? They don't.

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you go up your hole down your hole between your hole and you rock and roll

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what did the maker of anti jokes website say while reading some of the jokes on here? these people r idiots. and he lived happily ever after. then died. Good one

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If a blonde and a feather were dropped off of a building at the same time, which would hit the ground first? A feather is a light object and would most likely float all the way down at a slow velocity, the blonde is most likely 100+ pounds and would die because she is stupid.

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I thought about taking a nice warm shower, but then I realized that the power was out and it would probably be a cold shower.

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Mahjdichdhsjxidjhsbxu shcowiqx own hdqu Hedgehog the third

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Q:Why did the little girl fall out of the swing? A:Because she had no arms.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops