why did the Mexican take $20, because he found it on the ground

thumb_up thumb_down +2

whos the most unprodutive person ever not hitler her helped over populatin and got rid of the jew they multiply like jews anyways

thumb_up thumb_down +2

So a duck walks into a pharmacy and says "i need some ointment for my beak, its rather chapped." and the Pharmacist said "Sorry we don't have anything for ducks here."

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A man walks into a bar with a couple of chickens by his side. He sees a man sitting at the bar drinking a beer. The man who's drinking the beer offers the other man a seat, and asks him to join him in the drinking. The other man hardly refuses and takes the glass from the other man and throws it on the with all his power to the floor. The man sitting at the bar asks him why he did it. The man answers: "My chickens don't like beer"

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse says "Well, it's a long story but I tell you. You see, one day I was walking along the beach and I found a dusty old lamp. I rubbed the lamp and a big magic genie appeared. He told me I could have 3 wishes." The horse continues: "So I told the genie I wish I had a 10 billion dollars. I checked my bank account and sure enough it came true. My second wish was I wished for a beautiful wife. Suddenly a light came from the sky like an angel falling and I saw a beautiful woman and fell in love with her." The bartender says to the horse "Let me guess, so for your third wish, did you wish you were a horse with a long face?" The horse says "No that's not what I wished for." The bartender asks "What was your third wish?" The horse says "Well you won't believe me but I wished I was a bartender pretending to talk to a horse about some genie granting him wishes." After about 30 minutes of arguing with himself, other employees at the bar had had enough of the bartender talking to himself and called psychiatric personnel to escort the bartender to the mental hospital as his schizophrenia is getting worse.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Drunk, a tweeker and a pot head are walking together when they come upon a huge wall with a large, locked gate in the middle of it. The drunk shouts "lesh shmash it down!" then passes out. The tweeker says "Dude, we should totally take the lock apart and see if there's some kind of mechanism in there holding it together that we can use to build some sort of machine for taking... oh man I gotta crap so bad! Either of you guys gota smoke?" and the pot head says "We should sit here and wait." I didn't say it was a good story

thumb_up thumb_down +2

LO LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOPLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOO O O O O O O OLO LOL OL O LO LO LO L OL O LO LO L OL O LO L OL O LO LO L OL OL O LO LO L OL OL OL O LO L OL OL O L OL OLLOLOLLOL OL O LO LO L OL OL O

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q what do you do when your friend tells you hes a homosexual A. you tell him that you will accept him and can still be very good friends

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Roses are red, Violets are blue, your parents are dead they never loved you! I found this one on facebook and i just found this site and all yall got some good jokes LOL

thumb_up thumb_down +2

a man and his son pull up out side b&q and the man says to his son run in there and get me a black n decker and the boy goes in and is standing in the power tools isle and he looks round and there is a lady standing next to him so he hit her, the woman happened to be black and 2 minutes later a security guard rushes round and says son what did u do that for and the son said my dad told me to come in and get a black n decker!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's more horrible than Twilight? Hitler.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

"Where are my shoes?" asked the man. "On your feet," I replied. "You are a paraplegic and have no feeling from the waist down."

thumb_up thumb_down +2

So a man walks into a bar... ouch

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Ask me if I'm a tree. "Are you a tree?" No.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did hundreds ofnpeople die in a plane crash? Because the pilot was a salad.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did Cinderella wear at the ball? Clothes

thumb_up thumb_down +2

your mother is such a nice person that most people enjoy her company

thumb_up thumb_down +2

LET'S PLAY CARDS SHUFFLE THE DECK *person with a deck-patio* no please don't

thumb_up thumb_down +2

There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why couldn't the pirate watch the violent movie? Because pirates died along time ago

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Recycled jokes are about as good as a scalar roundabout... [L]

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a killer

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What happened to Jillian when she walked out the door? She got hit by a bus A. Knock knock B. Whos there? A. Not Jillian

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops