my mom just came up and saw me masturbateing

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What did the man want a car for his birthday? 7.

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Why did a girl get an STD? She had sex.

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Whats the difference between a black guy and a bucket of shit? A black man is a life form, more specifically a homosapian, while the bucket, as well as the shit, is an inanimate object.

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If pro is the opposite of con, then what is the opposite of progress? Regression.

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Why did the boy fall off the zipline? He had no arms.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It was hit by a car.

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What do you call it when Justin Beiber has sex with a woman? Intercourse.

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How do you get a clown off of a swing? You throw an axe at its face.

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Q: Why do Asian children tend to be smarter than other children A: They have longer school years

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knock knock Who's there Rick Rick who Your wife's boss she got into an on the job accident and will never walk again... I'm sorry but your insurance doesn't cover the injury.

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what do you call someone who cant breathe? dead

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Women's rights

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Why was Helen Keller a bad driver? She was blind.

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why dont you ever run over a black guy thats on a bike? because you will be sewed and also probably have the shit kicked out of you

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What did little Timmy get for Christmas after he was diagnosed with leukemia? A gift card to Bed Bath and Beyond because he was interested in redecorating.

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i killed a blind guy when he wasnt looking

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What's another word for Manslaughter? My new Hobby

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Q: What did the Goth-Punk girl write on her test for the question "What are three kinds of rock?" A: Igneous, Sedimentary, & Metamorphic, She is a 4.0 Geology Major attending a respectable University. She simply chooses to express herself through the musical and clothing trends that emerged in 1970's English underground music. In reality it her personal preferences in the aforementioned areas have no bearing on her intellectual or academic standing.

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Hi! Do you know how much a polar bear weighs? Roughly 1150 pounds if a full grow male.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Most poems rhyme But this one doesnt

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What does the lifeguard do on his free time? Ejaculate.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To save his soon to be butchered family.

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Who jumps the highest in basketball? The mascot because he has a trampoline.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops