Whats worse than not having fun at a party? Getting so drunk at a party that you shat in your pants Whats worse than shatting in your pants at a party drunk? Shatting in you pants twice because you were so drunk again.

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a piece of string walks into a bar and the bartender says “sorry we dont serve your kind here” so the string goes outside twists himself round and ruffles up one of his ends then walks back into the bar, the bartender says “aren’t you the piece of string i just kicked out?” the string then replies “i’m a frayed knot”

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Do you know the muffin man? No

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Why did John fall off his bike? Because, he is a fish and fish cannot ride bikes.

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What did Shaq do when he first met Rondo? Play Basketball

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Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it thought it was a game. Why did the tree fall over? Because it thought it was a squirrel.

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A blonde, a brunette and a redhead dive off a motorboat. They are sucked into the propeller and brutally disfigured instantly.

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What did the flower say to the flowerpot? Nice weather we're having

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Chuck Norris can carry very heavy objects.

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roses are red you are dumb no one will care when you die

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What do you call a black person born in America? American.

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? A wonderful dairy product that i can not have due to the fact that i do not own it.

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What is the difference between a dead baby and a mustang? I dont have a mustang in my garage.

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What do Robbers Get for Christmas? Other peoples things.

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A frog goes to a lake. he meets a photographer , the frog ask him ( can you take a picture of me? he says: sure ...say cheese.... then the frog said :....yogurt

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Why was the girl running out of the school? Because her principal was trying to rape her.

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Q. What do you call a woman who, after 72 hours of hard labor, finally gives birth? A. Mom.

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what did the dog say to the cat? bark what did the cat say to the dog? nothing it ran away

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Your mother is so fat that when she went to get weighed she was diagnosed as clinically obese and later broke down into tears.

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I was going to write a joke about procrastination, but I haven't gotten to it yet.

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What's purple and tastes like grapes? Grapes

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What did the white guy say to the Mexican guy? Nothing he realize that the Mexican guy probably didn't speak English and he couldn't speak Spanish so conversing with this man would have been pointless.

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Why did the rapper carry an umbrella? Because it was raining.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in an apple? having a worm sized penis.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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