Why did the chicken cross the road? His wife and children had just been struck by a moving vehicle traveling at approximately 45 miles per hour trying to cross the same road. He ran across the road to comfort his dying wife and two children as they took their final breaths. The chicken was also not really a chicken but a middle-aged man who had recently been laid off his job and diagnosed wiuth an incureable disease.

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What do you call a half man half manatee? A manatee

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a teacher walked into a bar and when he walked out he went to his car and proceeded to take notes about the bible, not realising he's supposed to be writing notes from his English book... he's dyslexic and got punched in the eye while he was in the bar; did i mention he doesn't drink?

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why did the skeleton drop his juice? Because he has no stomach LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLO

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Como estan lo que sienta in el tarea de tomo caliente? A. Los sientos! ~ this is why nobody likes Spanish

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Whoever said "don't start what you can't finish" hopefully didn't think about having kids Cuz that would be horror Get it?

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A penguin walks into a bakery. The baker asks the penguin: "What kind of bread would you like? Brown or white?". Penguins answers: "Well, it doesn't really matter since I came here by car!".

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What is the difference between menstrual blood and sand? You can't gargle sand.

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What do you call cheese that isnt yours? Stolen cheese.

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what do you call a mexican being baptized? a mexican becoming christian.

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Why can't Micheal J. Fox draw a perfectly straight line? It is impossible for humans to draw perfect lines.

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Wizard: If you could get any one thing in the world, what would it be son? Son: Another father that grants more wishes.

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Q. Why is Obama stupid? A. That's an opinion, therefore i cannot answer that.

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How do you get a blonde to eat crayons? Threaten to kill her parents with a hacksaw.

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what did Russell wilson get for Christmas a seahawk..

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how do you make a plumber cry? you pull its pants up

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I f*cked your mom last night and she liked it. 8====D~~~~

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fallow me on twitter #ieatveloceraptorsfordinner

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Roses are red Violets are blue Actually, now that i think of it, roses come in many colors And violets are actually violet in color, thus the name

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Hello, I'm Mark and I have multiple-personality disorder. Don't listen to him, no he doesn't.

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Why could a fat man not do a barrel roll? He has already to many rolls.

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roy g biv

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Why did i write this joke? Because i'm a try hard.

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Roses are grey Violets are grey I'm a dog

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops