Q: If I have 5 pencils, and you have 3 spoons, how many pancakes will stick to the ceiling? A: Purple, because aliens don't wear hats.

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Your momma has such a bad pancreas that it releases insulin into her bloodstream all the time. NOT just in response to glucose.

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Why did Nico Bellec not shoot that one guy? Just joking, this is Grand Theft Auto 4 dummy.

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I took my father out last night. We went to the Olive Garden.

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Guy One: Guess what? Guy Two: What? Guy One: I don't know, that's why I asked you.

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When Harry met Sally, she slapped him twice without reason, walked away and kept on with her day.

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what is brown and sticky? a stick.

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Yo mama's so poor, she doesn't have a lot of money.

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An over weight naked black guy walks into a bank and says "give me all your money!"

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A woman asked a man in an elevator, "Did you fart?" The man honestly replied, "Yes. I didn't expect you to notice because it was the puffy kind."

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have schizophrenic, and don't have any friends

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What did the T-REX say to the Yettie? This is a highly improbable situation, therefore there is no need for an answer.

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Why was Jimi's mom sad? Because Jimi suddenly fell to the floor clenching his neck while saying "I'm Dying!"

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Q:How do you kill an Elephant? A:With an Elephant gun Q:How do you kill a blue Elephant? A:With a blue Elephant gun. Q:How do you kill a purple Elephant? A:With a purple Elephant gun. Q:How do you kill a red Elephant? A:There is no such thing.

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What do you get when you cross a road with a car? Severe injuries or even death.

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What did ahmet say to adem...? LEMME SUCK ON THOSE TITS joke made by dark

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A man walks into a bar and probably sustains serious head injuries and possibly a concussion as most bars are usually made out of solid metals such as iron or steel and is therefore not permitted by his doctor to engage in sports or other rigorous activities for an allotted period of time depending on the degree of his injury.

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I'd love to submit an anti joke, but unfortunatley I don't own a computer.

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What do you call a psychic midget who has escaped from prison? Wanted by the police.

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I like trees. Trees hate you. Bye.

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a young mother cow died in a street crossing by a large oil truck, she was never buried and became infested with maggots in the next few days

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WHAT DYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE MEAN YE DON'T KNOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW?

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You mom is to dumb when she herd about Walgreens she thout all the walls were green

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One night, a heartbroken magician named Jeff went to a bar. Jeff met a nice girl, and they talked and laughed together for hours. After a while, Jeff asked her, "do you want to see a magic trick?" She ate his wiener.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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