How did Helen Keller's Parents punished her? The put a doorknob on her door.

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A dog was driving his car down the road right? Wrong dogs can't drive cars

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When life gives you lemons.... Don't eat them, because you're probable hallucinating, and you don't know where they came from.

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why do firemen wear red suspenders. I dont know because they go with there hat.

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Two pretzels were walking down an alley way, one was assaulted. In a instinctive move, the other quickly ran away and alerted the authorities. The assaulted pretzel was severely injured but slowly recovered covered from physical trauma and has now sought professional help to deal with it's great deal of post traumatic stress.

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“Before I know it, he’s got both of my hands in his viselike grip above my head, and he’s pinning me to the wall using his lips … His other hand grabs my hair and yanks down, bringing my face up, and his lips are on mine … My tongue tentatively strokes his and joins his in a slow, erotic dance … His erection is against my belly.”

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mmm i love marble bumhole

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Knock Knock Whos There? I'p I'p who? HAHAHAHA

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Hey Jake can I use your lawnmower? Why Michael, so you can run over my cat like you did last night

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A russian, a mexican, and an american are all sitting in a tavern. The russian ordered vodka, the mexican orders tequila, and the american orders a beer. When the waiter arrives, the russian throws his vodka into the air, shoots it, and says "we got too many of those in our country". The mexican tosses up his tequila and says "we got too many of those in our country". The american throws up his beer, shoots the mexican, and says "we got too many of those in our country". And then drinks his beer.

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so the weather's nice...

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Here is a nursery rhyme: Jane is a scruff, she has a head full of nits. She also had pain in her great big... Now don't get excited. Don't be mislead. Because all that Jane had was a pain in her head!

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? A Holocaust in your apple.

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What's the difference between black guy and a bucket of shit? The bucket

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? A vet.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Imaj. Imaj who? Haha, you're a Jew.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm only 13 so if you have sex with me it's illegal.

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What do you get on anti-jokes.com? A bunch of repeated "jokes", that don't make any sense.

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What do u call a man who is smart. A lawyer/ genius/ smart man

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Timmy had to use the restroom in class one day, so he raised his hand and asked, "Can I use the restroom?" The teacher said, "I don't know, CAN you?" Timmy said'," When I was using 'can', I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier for asking for permission, as opposed to expressing ability. I though since you were a teacher you would know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

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Q: What race was Jesus Christ? A: None, he's not real

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? -Because it was dead Why did the second koala fall out of the tree? -Because it was stapled to the first koala

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An Irishman, an American, an Australian, a Chinese man, a Turk, a Brazillian, a Canadian, a Jew, an African, a German, a Mexican, a Norweigian, a Swede, a Spaniard, a Russian and an Indian walk into a bar.

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What's worse than a dead baby in a barrel? A dead baby in 8 barrels.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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