Why was the black guy homeless? because he has been affected severely by the credit crunch, been made redundant and had his home repossessed

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Nope, I mean you can try, but my phone is busted and the code on the chip my galpal here managed to finally get into the cell, has sixteen digits so damn small that none of us can read it,

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What did the crazy asian man say just before he died? He didn't say anything- he was in an 18 month long coma due to a brain stem stroke. He left behind a wife, a 3 year old daughter and a newborn son.

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What is white and square? A ping pong block

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every man comes from between a women's legs for the rest of their lives they try to get back in

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what do you call a polar bear in a bathtub? No soap, radio

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roses are red, violets are blue, dandelions are yellow, tulips are pink, sunflowers are black and yellow, my dick is 13 inches long.

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How did the black kid pass his exam? He studied.

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Roses are red, My name is Dan, I have a gun, get in the van

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How many people with Alzheimer's does it take to screw in a lightbulb? To get to the other side.

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Correctional officer asks an inmate. "Does your elevator go all the way up"? Inmate replied. I don't know we always use the stairs.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting eaten alive by midgets with down syndrome

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what do you call cheese thats not yours? stolen, your under arrest

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Those who believe that Sarah Palin is dumb are living in some fantasyland. She could damn well speak as much as anyone else!

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Two ducks are in a bathtub. One duck says, "Hey, pass me the soap." The other duck says, "What do I look like, a type writer?"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't because he's CHICKEN.

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What does a cookie and the twin towers have in common? They both crumble.

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Whats worse than being rapped by a giant scorpion. Being gangbanged by a couple giant scorpions

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There was an Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman. Now there's millions of them. And women too.

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Ich bin nicht der Anführer

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When life gives you lemons.... Don't eat them, because you're probable hallucinating, and you don't know where they came from.

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How long does it take a person to steal a television? Many variables could determine said ability to successfully steal a television. Such variables depend on sub-variables such as weight of the television, whether the television is a store, an upper-class citizen's home, or in a "ghetto" apartment. A main variable could be the race of the thief in question. African Americans are scientifically more likely to steal a television faster compared to a Caucasian. Yet a downside to being an African American is the fact that they are more likely to be called in for questioning or arrested on the spot at their broken down home. Caucasians are less likely to be questioned and if caught will most likely obtain the proper amount of bribery money in which to pay off the police.

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Knock Knock... Who's there? The FBI, you're going to jail. Really? No.

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Who smokes a lot of weed and speaks 5 different languages? Rosetta Stoner.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops