What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding half a worm in your apple.

What did the whale do when he was angry? He beached himself, causing a major ecological disaster and costing the beach community thousands of dollars to return him to the water.

Why was the man foolish for buying a new lamp? Because he lived in a small shack with no electricity and was probably going to die soon.

when life gives you lemons, you make lemonade. when life gives you melons, you are soon diagnosed with dyslexia.

What does Osama Bin Laden and the typical Western man have in common? Extensively modern p.o.r.n-o collections.

A beautoful poem: Roses are red Violets are blue I have a gun! gimme all your money!

If the 49ers won the superbowl

roses are red violets are blue i have AIDS i'm about to die

What did one cake say to the other? You wanna piece of me?!?

Your mother is so morbidly obese that she greatly exceeds the necessary recommended serving sizes of each meal.

friends are like snowflakes. if you piss on them they go away

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didnt. Why do we have to live in a world where people have to be so concered about why a stupid chicken decides to cross a road. Shouldnt we all be more focused on ways to get a better economy, or maybe end world hunger?

Roses are red Violets are blue Thats what they tell me because I'm blind

What happened to the gay guy? He died of aids...

Why do we park in driveways and drive in parkways? Good question.

What do you call 10 black people swimming down a current? A happy family

That awkward moment when a sentence doesn't end the way you thought it gay unicorn

what did the frog say to the plane HE NO CRY SO I CRY FOR HIM

Who wants $300? Me too.

knock, knock who's there? boo boo who? sorry i dont know anyone named boohoo so get the hell off my lawn

what do you call a man with cheese on his face? cheese face

What's worse than losing your job? 9/11

Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's a woman.

If your fighting an octopus on mars how many lamps does it take to repair a dog house? Nine because a toaster cannot ride a bicycle.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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