How long does it take for a black woman to have a shit. 9 months.

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why did the black man shoot himself? because he commited a crime and was sorry for what he had done

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What types of animals are the most dangerous? Dangerous ones.

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Why did the Mexican cross the border? He wanted to live a better life in pursuit of freedom and a better job.

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Why was Jimmy upset? Someone kept pouring liquid nitrogen on him.

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Why was the woman worried? She was coughing up blood

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Don't you hate when you finger your belly button and your nipples exploed?

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One day, a mother was talking with her three daughters. "Mommy," the first one asked, "Why did you name me Daisy?" "Because when we took you home, a daisy petal fell on your head." "Mommy," the second one said, "Why did you name me Rose?" "Because when we took you home, a rose petal fell on your head." "MMMMBBBWWAAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHH!" the third daughter cried. She was born with severe cognitive damage and is incapable of coherent speech.

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Why did Santa get stuck up a chimney? Because there was a family of possums living up there. They ripped his face off.

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roses are grey violets are grey im a dog

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Q. What do you call a woman who, after 72 hours of hard labor, finally gives birth? A. Mom.

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Whats the difference between me and a ghost? What? Ghost are not dolphins

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A seven foot tall kindergartener walks into a bar. He is reduced to tears after being ridiculed for his inordinate height and unappealing physical appearance. A bartender then proceeds to escort him out of the bar for being underaged. -BG_Shank_A

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Which came first, the chicken or the egg? The Big Bang. -BG_Shank_A

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Have you seen Hellen Kellers mon?... Neither has she

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If i was given a penny every time i hear "It's not my fault". I will have the money equal to the nominal price multiplied by the count of times i heard that phrase.

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Q: Why did the grand mother drop her cane? A: She got pused out a window.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? after approximately 10 seconds of looking back and forth left to right the chicken finally came to a realization that the road is clear and safe to cross.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick. What's orange and sticky? An orange. What's red and sticky? My stool - is that normal?

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Why did the first Monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the second Monkey fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first Monkey. Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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Why did the bus drop his icecream? He was hit by a boy

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a piece of string walks into a bar and the bartender says “sorry we dont serve your kind here” so the string goes outside twists himself round and ruffles up one of his ends then walks back into the bar, the bartender says “aren’t you the piece of string i just kicked out?” the string then replies “i’m a frayed knot”

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A man walks in to a bar, He sits down and enjoys a pint.

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Whats bent but straight for danielle? Joseph Plummer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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