Why couldn't the married couple have sex? They were lesbians who were saving up a sex change.

How many Americans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Well thats a stupid question, just one.

I don't believe in giraffes.

Knock Knock Who's there? UPS you have a package from Amazon. \ Oh, Thanks, where do I sign? Right here. Ok, thanks, have a nice day. Thanks you too.

There once was a man from Peru, Whose limericks all stopped on line two.

what do you call a mexican with a rubber blanket cold

why did the chicken cross the road it didnt

YOU MEAN SHE ACTUALLY EVER LIKED ME? WOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! Anyway, tell her to contact me here, during the number of letters up there divided by a certain number you got over there, minus the letters here subtracted with the VEEEEEEERY same ammoooouuuuunt... Moral: God I need to invent a code system that makes me sound less like Jim Carrey on crack...

i see trees are green, Roses are red, Violets are blue and i think to myself What a Wonderful World

Where did Jimmy go during the bombing? An underground shelter where he would be kept from harm.

why did the chicken cross the road? to try and stop the rapist from sodomizing his young child but his atempts were futile as the rapist shot him and used his blood as lubricant when he skull-raped his dying wife

Why did the guy fall into the ocean? He was surfing

What is White on Top and Black on bottom? Micheal Jackson.

What's large and blue? Probably quite a few things.

What did one wall say to the other wall? Nothing. Walls are inanimate objects and thus incapable of conversing with one another.

whats the difference between boyscouts and a jew? boyscouts come back from camp.

Yeah, but why is this honesty so important for you, personal reasons because you are like that, because you consider me a friend? Or because a single lie, could have catastrophical consequences?

Why did the black guy seem so black next to a white guy? Because he had more melanin in his skin

Your mother sleeps around so much that I worry that she may be taking too much medicine for her insomnia.

whats black and yellow a chinese with a bruise

A Jew, Catholic, and a Mexican walk into a bar. The Jew leaves first for an unrelated reason.

How many members of Coldplay can you fit in a mini? 4, as there are 4 members of Coldplay.

Roses are red, Violets are blue Poems don't have to rhyme

Its a sunny day. There's a tree and a bird. What did they say to each other? --------------------------------------------------- Nothing they can't talk.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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